Love & War
by lightinside
Summary: Everything is going wrong. The Enchantress has taken over Asgard and Hydra has overturned S.H.I.E.L.D. The team is split between the realms, fighting their own battles at great cost. No one knows what's coming next. With every world at war and everyone at odds, will love triumph? Or is death... only the beginning? {Sequel to Trust My Rage}
1. Chapter 1

Nobody plans to fall in love. And nobody plans to have their heart broken. But we can't legislate for the decisions our heart makes or the people that influence those decisions.

And even though the world around us may fall… even though everything we thought we knew may become a mystery… there will always be the after.

Whatever that may be.

* * *

It had been three days since Amora had taken Asgard.

Natasha stood with Sarina out in one of the corridors leading to Loki's sick room, where they couldn't hear what was going on.

Inside the room, Marie had promised Sarina that she would stay with Loki no matter what happened and Sarina had thanked her and gone as quickly as she could.

Marie could handle the yelling. Sarina couldn't.

Loki, upon seeing her face, had insisted that she be taken as far away from him as possible to lessen the bond. But Sarina could still feel his pain.

She rubbed her temples gently, trying desperately to lessen the pounding in her head. Natasha watched her worriedly. She and Sarina may have had their differences, but as they'd spent more and more time together, she had come to realize that maybe Sarina wasn't completely intolerable.

"You okay?" She asked.

Sarina shook her head. "Have you got some Advil or something?"

"No."

"Figures."

As Natasha opened her mouth to apologize, though she didn't know why, her phone began to ring.

Sarina gritted her teeth, the ache in her head intensifying. As the ringing continued, her irritation grew.

"Can you _please_ either cut that thing off or take the damn phone call?"

Natasha sighed and answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Natasha!" Gunfire interrupted the call, but she would know that voice anywhere. It was Steve. "S.H.I.E.L.D has been compromised."

Yelling and the screeching of cars could be heard in the background. Natasha glanced over at Sarina, who was paying her no mind at all, before striding down the hallway.

"What's happened?"

"Fury's dead!" Steve yelled over the noise, "And – hold on."

The impact of skin on skin filled the space between the phones several times before Steve returned, but Natasha wasn't listening. Fury was dead.

Dead.

"Natasha! Listen to me!"

She snapped back to attention. "Tell me what you need."

"I'm in Washington. Right after you left, Fury wanted me down at the main headquarters. God, I don't have time to explain… Do you remember Hydra? Surely you read the files."

"Yes, I remember Hydra."

"They've been infiltrating S.H.I.E.L.D for years. All this time, they've been waiting to strike. I don't know who's on our side and who isn't, but that's not important. They're coming after us. All of us. Stay where you are, don't come home, and for God's sake, don't tell Marie _anything _about this_._ Tell her… tell her I'm fine and that I'll see her soon."

"I will. Steve!"

"Yes?"

"What about everyone else? Are they alright?"

"Banner and Elizabeth left as soon as they heard. I don't know where they went. That's the best thing for them right now. Stark… I don't know about Stark. I'll have to figure out some way to let him know."

"What do I tell Sarina?"

"Nothing."

"Steve, Elizabeth is her best friend. That isn't right."

"She has enough to worry about. We saw the footage. We know. Sarina needs to focus on Loki right now. Leave Washington to me."

He hung up without another word, leaving Natasha's heart pounding in her throat. She could hardly believe it.

Everyone was in danger.

"Natasha!" Sarina called, "_Natasha_!"

She dashed around the corner to find Sarina clutching her head in a panic.

"He needs me!" Sarina yelled, "Grab my arm and take me to him."

"No. He said –"

"I don't give a rat's ass what Loki said!"

"Alright, alright."

Natasha grabbed hold of Sarina's arm and helped her down the hall, pausing every now and again when Sarina would grit her teeth and go rigid, feeling every ounce of Loki's agony the closer they got to him.

"We should go back." Natasha told her quietly.

Her only answer was Sarina, shaking her head in disagreement. They finally got to Loki's door, his yelling loud enough to make _Natasha_ cringe. Just as Sarina was about to go in, the door opened.

Thor stepped out into the hallway with them and closed the door behind him.

"Sarina, I need to speak to you."

She knew something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" Tears sprang to her eyes as she heard Loki cry out once more. "What's going on?"

"The blade… it _was _poisoned."

Sarina unconsciously reached out for Natasha, who wrapped her hand gently around Sarina's wrist in an awkward attempt to comfort her. Sympathy wasn't her thing, but Natasha could sense something was coming. Something worse than what was happening already.

Thor swallowed, pausing for a moment to keep control of his emotions before continuing. "Freyr was able to extract it from his wound, but the poison had already… Amora was smart, Sarina. The poison is stealing his mind away from him."

"What?" Sarina's voice was barely above a whisper, "Is he… he won't…"

"If she couldn't have him, you weren't meant to either. Whether that meant he died and all of him was gone, or that he lived, though what made him yours was lost and only his body remained."

Natasha glanced at Sarina, seeing that she was on the verge of collapse and decided to interject. "Isn't there something you can do? _Anything_?"

"Yes, but… we need Sarina's permission."

Sarina surfaced once more. "My permission?"

"Freyr can do away with the hysteria. But only if… only if he completely does away with all memory of the poison and before. That includes-"

"Me." She said. "He has to forget me."

Thor couldn't respond. He could only nod and wait for Sarina to give him her answer.

"How long will he…?" She didn't have to finish. Thor knew the ending to her question, even if she couldn't bear to voice it out loud.

How long will he survive?

"Without this, only days. But it will be agonizing for him, Sarina."

"Agonizing…"

The word sat on Sarina's lips, chilling and fearsome. In her raged a conflict unlike any she'd ever felt before. She didn't want him to suffer. She would gladly take his place, if only he was safe. If only he were alright, then it wouldn't matter what happened to her.

On the other hand…

He was everything to her and she would be nothing to him.

She could feel the seconds slipping away. She knew she should answer. She knew she had to. Sarina couldn't be selfish. Not now.

Her voice, to her, sounded hollow. Automatic. Void of feeling.

"Do it." She said, "Do whatever you need to."

Thor nodded and left them there in the hallway, Natasha staring at Sarina and Sarina in turn staring at the door.

She reached out with her mind, connecting to his.

_I love you_…

But the agony had stopped. His pain was gone… and he was already forgetting. Sarina bit her lip and began to walk away from his door swiftly, fighting back the piercing sense of loss washing through her.

Natasha watched her go, "Where are you going?" She called, but Sarina didn't answer.

Her feet propelled her down numerous hallways and corridors, walls blending and blurring into one another in a sea of gold and white and silver. It wasn't until the fresh air hit her face that she suddenly realized where she had been going all along.

Sleipnir had been put in Freyr's stables, and Sarina found him with ease. She mounted his back and urged him away, her arms flung around his neck in a desperate attempt to have something to hold onto.

To have some sense of feeling.

The forest soon surrounded her, the trees tall and spaced evenly, giving her a faraway view of the outside world where she'd come from. It seemed foreign from inside the veil of the trees. Like she'd never known it at all. Like she didn't belong there.

And in a way, she supposed, she didn't.

But also, she knew in her heart that she belonged wherever Loki was.

No matter the cost.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm so excited to be starting Love & War and I appreciate all of your wonderful feedback and support so much. Without any further delay, here's chapter two!

Enjoy!

-lightinside

* * *

Loki's emerald green eyes opened slowly, landing on each figure that loomed above him.

One of them spoke. "Brother?"

He blinked, trying to place the blonde-haired man in front of him. Thor.

"Where are we?"

"Alfheim."

Something about that didn't seem right. "Why?"

"A visit." Thor answered him.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Three days."

Loki's eyes widened. "Three _days_?"

"You were very ill." Thor lied smoothly, "It was not uncommon."

He sighed, noticing now that there were several others in the room with his brother. He recognized none of them.

Thor saw his brother's confusion and he began to introduce them, one by one.

Natasha, Clint, Marie, and Noelle – the princess of Alfheim.

There was something about Noelle, about her striking honey-brown eyes that seemed familiar to him. But just as quickly as the sense of familiarity had come, it was gone.

Thor seemed to notice someone's absence, for he turned to the group.

"Where is Sarina?" He asked them softly. "Have you seen her?"

One of the women, Marie, shook her head. "She took off again this morning."

"Where did she go?"

Noelle and Marie exchanged a glance. "Don't know." Marie answered him.

"Marie." Thor murmured, so softly Loki could hardly hear him. "She needs to come back right away."

"Can I talk to you outside for just a second?" Marie asked him, "Maybe… I don't know… _all_ of you?" She didn't wait for a response. "Really? Great!"

Noelle followed her swiftly out the door and the rest floated out behind her, hesitant but curious.

The door to Loki's room was shut now and Marie turned on them all with a glare.

"Are you _stupid_?"

"Excuse me?" Thor asked, surprised by her hostility.

"Lacking in common sense." Marie said. "Do you lack common sense?"

"I don't believe so."

"Then you should know better than to start a conversation about Sarina in front of Loki. Especially now. He _just_ opened his eyes. This needs to happen gradually. Sarina needs time. She's having a really hard time accepting all of this."

"You _do_ know where she is." Thor realized, crossing his arms.

"Yes," Noelle cut in, "But we aren't at liberty to tell you."

"I demand to know."

Marie rolled her eyes, "Don't even start."

Thor scowled, "My brother needs her!"

"He doesn't _know_ her!"

This sentence stunned them all, including Marie. She fell silent, pressing her lips together in such a way that one would think she was trying to pretend the words never came out of her mouth.

For what seemed like minutes, no one spoke.

Noelle was the first one to regain her composure.

"We're going to all have to work together. It isn't easy for any of us, to see our friends this way, our _family_… but they need us. That should be more than enough reason for us to put everything else aside and be there for them."

Clint sighed. "What do we _do_, though? Heimdall closed the Bifrost when he sent us here. None of us can leave. Sarina won't stay in the palace long enough to be near Loki and he has no idea she exists. Not to mention, there's a crazy voodoo woman ruling Asgard who may or may not start a war."

"Amora will be dealt with." Thor promised. "But until we have a solid strategy, Asgard will remain in her hands. I will not lose anyone else."

Noelle turned to Clint. "The Enchantress is not one to make her intentions known outright. So, in a way, you are correct. We do not know if this was an act of war. She plays too many games. I remember her through the stories my father told me as a child. Amora may be 'crazy', as you say, but that also makes her dangerous. Thor is right in waiting to take action."

"And as for Sarina and Loki…" Marie said, "It will just have to happen. When he's well and is able to wander around the palace, there's no way he won't run into her."

Natasha crossed her arms, thinking. "But he's bound to ask questions. This is Alfheim, not Asgard. The longer we stay here, the more suspicious he'll become."

"I'll handle that when the time comes." Thor replied. "Now, can we all go back inside?"

The group nodded, and one by one trickled back into Loki's room. All but Marie.

"Natasha!" She called softly, and the agent turned to her.

"What is it?" Natasha asked as the door closed.

"I've… been trying to get in touch with Steve. I know you guys are close… has he tried to call?"

Natasha hesitated. It wasn't right to tell Marie that Steve hadn't called. It wasn't fair to her. She was here, with everyone else on Alfheim, scared and unsure of when she would get to go home and she needed him. But at the same time, she remembered what he had asked her to tell Marie.

"He did call." Natasha said and Marie began to smile.

"What did he say? Is he alright?"

Natasha did her best to smile back at her. "He said that he was fine and that he would see you soon."

Marie released a sigh of relief and nodded, "Good. Will you tell me if he calls again?"

"Absolutely." Natasha told her.

But the only question really running through her mind was; would Steve call again?


	3. Chapter 3

**_I think I should give you fair warning now that I'm going to work backwards in the events that happened in the movies. In TMR I used events from The Dark World and in this story I'm going to pull events from Thor, Iron Man 3, The Winter Soldier, and tweak events from the Avengers to fit my story-line. I didn't want anyone to be confused when I started to mix up the timelines a little. _**

**_I wanted to thank Master's daughter and She-WolfMoon for their reviews the other day as well as everyone else. You guys have been there to give me your support since day one and I want you to know how grateful I am! _**

_**I hope you enjoy chapter three! **_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

Sarina returned to the palace later that same evening, tucking Sleipnir safely away in the stables before making her way inside.

She dreaded facing her friends. She dreaded the questions they would no doubt ask about where she had been and why she had gone. She dreaded it all.

As she was almost to her room, Natasha spotted her.

"Sarina!"

She sighed and turned around, waiting for Natasha to finish.

"He woke up."

Sarina didn't know what to do with that. She stood there, torn between running to him and running away from him.

"Is he alright?"

"He doesn't remember, no." Natasha said, seeing through her. "But otherwise, yes. He's fine."

A pause ensued. "I…" Sarina began, "I'm… I'll see you in the morning. I'm going to my room."

"You're not going to the banquet hall?"

"I'm not that hungry."

"Want me to bring you something?"

"No, just… tell Marie I need to talk to her as soon as possible. Okay?"

"Okay."

Sarina left without another word, closing the door to her room behind her before collapsing on her bed, fighting back tears.

How was she going to do this? It hadn't occurred to her that the feelings she'd felt when Loki had faked his death would return. She'd wanted to die then. She'd wanted to be with him.

In a few moments, a soft knock came on the door.

Sarina sat up and pulled a pillow to her chest.

"Come in."

Marie opened the door, biting her lip. "Hey."

"Hey."

When the door was closed, Marie walked slowly to Sarina's side almost as if she was afraid the slightest thing was going to send Sarina spiraling out of control. It was irritating.

"Jesus, Marie. I'm not a grenade, okay?" She snapped, "I just need to talk to you, like you would have before I became a charity case."

Marie sighed and sat down beside her. "You _aren't_ a charity case, Sarina. I… I just don't know what to say. And that never happens to me. It never happens to _us_. We talk about everything."

"I know."

"I mean… yeah."

Sarina leaned over and put her head on Marie's shoulder, not dwelling on the fact that she had to hunch over awkwardly to make up for their difference in height. It didn't matter now. She needed her friend.

"Marie?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I can't look at him?"

Marie pulled away to look at her friend, "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean…" Sarina's lip quivered. "I mean, what if I can't… what if I can't _look_ at him? He won't know me. He won't… _love_ me."

"Sarina…"

"The bond is broken." She said and started to cry. "He's gone."

Marie was at a loss for words. She knew that the last time the bond had broken, from what Sarina had told her, it was when Loki had put a veil over it to convince her of his death.

She couldn't imagine how much worse it was now. Here he was, alive, but everything they'd had was gone. In a way, Marie knew Sarina was right.

He was gone. The side of him that Sarina had seen and helped come into light was gone. His love for her…

"I'm sorry." Marie whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Sarina sniffed, trying to get ahold of herself. "Me too."

Marie wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulders, "You know, when we go home it won't be so bad. All of this will be over and everything will be normal again."

"You mean New York?"

"Yeah." Marie said, "Home."

"No."

"_No_?"

"Asgard is my home." Sarina clarified. "I've been there so long… I can't go back. I _won't_ go back. When all of this is over…"

"You're staying."

Sarina nodded. "I am."

"Have you even thought about this? Or is it… because of him?"

"I _have_ thought about it. I don't know how long I've been thinking about it, but it's been a while." She said. "And also… yes. It is because of him. I have to make him remember me."

Marie thought for a moment. "Well, to do that you have to look at him."

Sarina cracked a small smile, "You aren't going to argue with me?"

"Of course not. If it's what you want, it's what you want. I just want to make sure that you know what you're doing."

"Of course I don't. But if I waited to make my decisions until I was absolutely sure, then I would never do _anything_."

"I guess that's true."

"And Marie?"

"Hmm?"

"What would you say if I asked you to stay with me?"

Marie blinked. "Stay…?"

"Until all of this was over."

"Well… what about Steve?"

"He could stay, too."

"No. I mean, I'm worried about him. I think I need to go home and see if he's alright. I've called and called and left messages, but he won't answer."

"Why?"

"If I knew, don't you think I'd tell you?" Marie took a deep breath, "Sorry, I'm really not used to this. I don't handle things well."

"That's not true…" Sarina said, "You just don't handle things related to Steve well."

"Yeah." Marie nodded, "I guess so."

"Marie…" Sarina began to study her friend, "Be completely honest with me."

"Okay…"

"Do you love him?"

"Sarina!"

"It's a legitimate question! I mean, you had 'stirrings', but now…"

Marie's mouth opened and closed a few times before she finally answered, "Well, how am I supposed to know if I love him? I've never been in love before!"

Sarina raised an eyebrow and said nothing. She watched as Marie evaluated _everything_ in her mind and saw when she reached her conclusion. Marie's mouth fell open and her eyes widened.

"But it's ridiculous! We've only known each other for a few months!"

"That doesn't matter." Sarina told her. "When you're in love, you're in love. There's nothing you can do to change that."

"But…"

"_Marie_!" Sarina groaned, "Stop that."

"Okay, fine. _Maybe_. But we're not talking about it."

"Marie."

"Not talking about it!"

"Okay." Sarina bit back a smile. She'd never seen Marie this unglued over a _guy_. Over Jack Sparrow facing down the Kraken, sure. When Chekov _smiled_ during the _Star Trek_ movies, Sarina always ended up getting smacked for breathing too loudly. But over a guy that wasn't fictional… Marie hadn't ever given them the time of day.

Now?

Well, now there was Steve and Marie, whether she would completely admit it now or not, was falling for him.

"Have you heard from Elizabeth?"

Marie shook her head. "No. Not since the almost wedding."

"I wonder if she's alright. I should call."

"I wouldn't bother. I tried yesterday and her service has been disconnected or something."

"But she would tell us if she was going to change her number."

"That's why it's weird."

"Maybe you should go back to New York, Marie. If only for a few days. Nobody is answering. First Steve, now Elizabeth. Have you tried Bruce?"

"Not yet."

Sarina nodded, "Try Bruce and Tony and if nobody is answering, then we'll get Heimdall… oh, shit. No. You can't go back."

"What?"

"He closed it. The Bifrost is closed."

"For how long?"

"I don't know."

"Well, damn." Marie muttered. "Aren't there other ways to get back home?"

"Well, yes, but only one person knows them."

Marie pursed her lips, "Let me guess. Loki."

Sarina nodded again. "Ironic, isn't it?"

"Painfully so." She fell into thought for a moment or two before looking up at Sarina, "You don't think he's forgotten _everything_, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he recognized Thor, sure. But he didn't say anything about Frigga or Odin or…"

Sarina's eyes widened, "You think he has forgotten that he's Jotun."

"It's possible, isn't it?"

"If it is…" Sarina ran a hand through her hair, suddenly unsure. "We can't all lie to him. Not again. I know what it did to him the first time."

"Who told him then?"

"Odin. They were fighting… it was the wrong time."

"What happened?"

"You recall New York."

"Oh, _shit_."

"Even though he was set up for that, it could be worse this time around."

Marie's mouth fell open. "How?"

"His mind is already unstable. He's going to have to discover everything all over again. He'll relive the death of his mother and the betrayal of his father… and his birthright. I don't know what he'll do this time."

"This is going to be one hell of a stay on Alfheim."

"Yeah. I suppose it will be."

Marie sighed, "Don't hate me, but… Sarina, I want to go home so badly."

"I know." Sarina said. "Me, too. But…"

"'_Faithless is he that says farewell when the roads darken_.'"

"Yeah…" Sarina smiled, "Exactly."

"You and me."

"Me and you."

Marie grinned and stood up, grateful for a small fraction of the familiar.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Don't run off again before I have a chance to see you."

"Okay."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Marie."

When the door was closed and Marie was gone, Sarina leaned back on her pillows and stared at her ceiling. The old quote that Sarina and her two best friends used to repeat over and over in times of trouble ran through her mind.

'Faithless is he that says farewell when the roads darken.'

And just like that, her uncertainty was gone. Earlier, she hadn't known if staying was the right thing, but now she knew that if she left it would be just like giving up on Loki. She had to trust in him and trust that somewhere in the back of his mind and in the depths of his heart, he still loved her.

Even if he didn't know it yet… she had to believe that he would eventually.

But that's the thing about the English language. Words have so many meanings and so many inflections, everything that comes out of your mouth might as well be a lie. And in Sarina's case, she was fooling herself into believing that eventually would come sooner rather than later.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm headed back home for the weekend so I don't know how much time I'll have to post in the next few days. If I don't post, I'm sorry! **_

_**I hope you guys enjoy chapter 4! **_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

The next morning, Loki awoke with a pounding headache. He winced at the bright sunlight flooding in through his windows and laid his arm over his eyes.

He wished he could go back to sleep. So much. He'd had such strange dreams. Strange and wonderful. They seemed so familiar, though he was sure he'd never had them before. He couldn't see her face, but a woman's voice filled his mind with a strength and beauty that he hadn't known possible.

_ "'__Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than with honesty?'"_

And then, his own voice had replied to hers.

_ "'__Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof… I did love you once.'"_

He concluded as he opened his eyes afterwards that he was officially going mad. He'd never met a woman with such a voice. He'd never _spoken_ that way in his life.

"Loki?" The door opened and in came his brother, "Ah! You're awake."

"No I'm not."

"Loki."

"Who?"

"_Brother_."

Loki peeked at Thor with a smirk, "Habit." He said and sat up. "Do you need something?"

"I thought you might want to eat something."

"I'm not that hungry." Loki replied somewhat sullenly. "I think I'll stay in today."

"Uh… are you certain?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I believe I'm perfectly capable of knowing what I want to spend my day doing."

"Well, yes…" Thor fidgeted, "But are you sure?"

"_Brother_." Loki's eyes narrowed, "Out with it."

"What? Out with what? I don't know what you're speaking of."

"Thor. You've never been a very good liar."

"There's… I… I'm going to go." Thor said, inching towards the door, "Food. Right. Yes. I'm actually quite starved. Okay… I'll check on you later."

And just like that he was gone, leaving Loki to wonder what the hell had just happened. With a sigh, he plopped back on his pillows and closed his eyes.

* * *

Sarina sat at the breakfast table, poking at her pancakes with her fork. Marie had already finished hers and was now eyeing Sarina's plate.

"Are you going to eat that?"

Sarina shrugged. "Dunno. Why? Do you want it?"

Marie raised an eyebrow, "You've known me since childhood and you _still _have to ask?"

In answer, Sarina pushed her plate over towards Marie.

"Knock yourself out."

"Whamhmmhfmffmm?"

"_What_?"

Marie swallowed. "What are you doing today?'

"Dunno."

"Is that the only word you know this morning?"

Sarina opened her mouth and Marie waved her hands around to silence her.

"No, no. Never mind."

With a laugh, Sarina sighed. "I'm sorry. Did you want to do something today?"

"We could go riding."

"You would do that?"

"Well, yeah. You've done it all day every day since we've been here. I don't want you to be alone and I also want you to have fun. So, why not? Noelle wants to go, too."

"Okay."

"Great. After I finish these pancakes, we'll go."

"And when will that be?"

Marie looked down at the half eaten plate, "Give me two minutes."

* * *

On Midgard, Bruce and Elizabeth were already on the move.

"Have Sarina or Marie called you?" She asked as they got in the car.

"Marie." He answered as he started the ignition.

Elizabeth waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. For the past few days, he'd been so extremely irritating. One word sentences. One sided conversations. He was absolutely _impossible_.

"_And_?" She asked, biting back her exasperation.

"Nothing." Bruce said, eyes locked on the road. "I didn't answer."

"What!? Why!?"

"It's too dangerous."

"Damn it, Bruce! First you make me disconnect my service, then you stick me in a car and drag me from state to state like it will make a damned difference when Hydra decides to act! We've been running away when we should be back in New York, or in _Washington_ helping!"

"And what would you do? Tell me, Elizabeth. I'd love to know. If you were faced with an _armed _assassin, what would you do!?"

She didn't have an answer, but glared at him resentfully. "Pull over."

"What?"

"PULL OVER!"

Bruce gritted his teeth and pulled the car over, the cars behind them zipping past at top speed. Elizabeth unbuckled and turned towards him, too angry to filter what was going to come out of her mouth now.

"Look. Let's get one thing straight. You don't know what's best for me. I know you think you do, but you don't. The only person who knows what's best for me is _me_. Marie and Sarina are _my _friends. I've known them all my life. And for you to ignore Marie's call whilst dragging me across the entire continental U.S. is too much. I can take staying in cheap motels. I can take moving around. What I can't take is you making my decisions for me. Okay?"

Bruce sighed heavily, his eyes shining with exhaustion. "Okay."

"And _enough_ with the one word answers! If you want me to be with you then you have to be with me. I know you're worried. Believe me, I'm scared as hell. But you being so distant isn't helping either of us." She bit her lip. "Bruce, I need you."

"I'm so sorry Elizabeth." He murmured. "I don't mean to be distant."

"I know…" She leaned back, her head hitting the head rest a bit too forcefully, "I know you don't. I don't mean to yell. I'm sorry."

"I deserve it. I've been insensitive."

"No you don't." Elizabeth reached over and took his hand, "And you haven't. I'm just tired, I guess."

"Tired as in you haven't slept enough or… tired of _this_?"

Suddenly, the conversation had taken a turn down a road of which Elizabeth wasn't prepared to deal with yet. What Bruce had said had meant more than being tired of the running.

"Bruce."

"Really, Elizabeth. I'm… I'm _dangerous_. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to get out and go your own way."

"_Bruce_."

He watched her through his glasses, reminding her of that first day she'd laid eyes on him in Spain. He had been standing in the midst of the festival in his dress pants and purple button down in those glasses that made him look like the genius she now knew him to be, but there was one difference. He had been smiling then. Laughing and swaying to the music unfurling in the air around him as, across the street, Marie and Elizabeth had done the same.

Now, his smile was gone and he seemed to have aged under the weight of his stress.

She knew in her heart that he'd never hurt her. But there was that one part of herself, the one that nagged at her constantly and added on to that same sentence in a way that made her second guess everything.

He'd never hurt her _on purpose_.

And here it was. Here was her chance to make a clean break. But there was no escaping the _other_ part of her that knew no matter what happened, there was no way she could give up what was in front of her.

Bruce.

"Stop talking like that." She said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Elizabeth…"

"Oh, _shut up_."

Elizabeth reached over and kissed him softly on his lips, fighting back a grin when he froze in surprise before responding in earnest. The fact that she could have that effect on anybody, especially someone she really loved –

Her thoughts stopped her cold.

What was happening to her?


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thank you so much guys! I'm rushed for time because I have to get back to my family, but here's chapter 5! I hope you enjoy! Please review if you can! Thank you! **_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

Sarina rode through the chilly air on Sleipnir, Noelle and Marie trailing behind on their own horses grinning as they tore through the trees. As they went further and further into the forest, they began to slow down.

After half an hour of riding, Sarina finally pulled Sleipnir to a halt.

"It's this way."

"What is?" Marie asked.

Noelle smiled, "When I was younger, I spent all of my time in the forest. My father built a cabin so that in the winter, I could still come here. I've let Sarina use it recently."

"So _that's _where you go." Marie said, "I wondered how you didn't freeze your ass off. God knows I am."

Sarina laughed, "Come on. We'll build a fire when we get there."

They rode on for another few minutes and came to a small cabin, built to accommodate only two or three people at most at one time. It was cozy, soft feather beds in the two bedrooms and a huge fireplace in the living room. The furniture was all of the highest quality and it was all extraordinarily beautiful. And the best part of the whole place? The kitchen was fully stocked.

"We could stay here for days." Marie mused, plopping down on the couch as the fire began to grow. "I don't think I _want_ to go back."

Noelle retrieved several huge blankets from one of the closets. "I never do."

Sarina was the last one to sit down. "It's so quiet here. It's one of the only places I can actually think."

"Where are the other ones?" Marie asked, pulling one of the fluffy blankets up to her chin.

"Asgard." Sarina answered her. "In the meadow and in the garden."

"What about the library?" Noelle asked her. "That was always one of my favorite places."

"Sometimes." She said. "People would be in and out of the library all day. It wasn't always quiet like this."

Minutes passed as the three girls stared into the blazing fire and became sluggish with warmth.

Finally, Marie spoke again. "Why can't the whole world be this way?"

Sarina looked over at her. "What do you mean?"

"Calm. Warm. Quiet."

"I don't know."

Noelle sighed, "I wish it could always be this way."

"Me, too." Sarina replied, "You know what else I wish?"

"What?"

"I wish that the biggest complication in my life right now was the choice between ice cream and cake."

Marie laughed, "I don't care who you are - that choice is never easy."

"Right?"

"I wonder if anyone would notice if we didn't go back." Marie murmured, snuggling down into the couch, "I dread going back out into the cold."

"There are clothes here." Noelle said, "We _could_ stay."

Sarina and Marie looked over at her, "Could we?"

"For the night, yes. I'm afraid Thor would be perturbed if we stayed longer."

"Thor, shmor." Marie muttered, "He's gotten so… meh."

"Uptight, I believe is the word you are searching for." Noelle interjected.

"Yes, exactly." Marie said, "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

Sarina shook her head, "We all know why."

Marie looked almost apologetic. "Yeah. I guess so."

"Though Thor is under stress, that doesn't give him the right to be so dreadfully rude and order all of us about as if we were only there to serve him." Noelle huffed, scowling.

"He does that?" Sarina asked.

"You've missed a lot." Marie replied. "Thor has turned into quite the air-head."

"_Marie_."

"It's true! He's demanding and bossy and thinks that his word is law."

"It _is_." Sarina stated simply. "For now, his word is law until Loki is fit to say otherwise."

"I'll tell you what it _is_." Marie grumbled. "Ridiculous."

"Maybe, but Thor's only concern is keeping us safe, Marie. And I'm sure I'll have to remind myself of that when he pisses me off."

"Shouldn't be too hard." Marie snorted. "I give you guys five minutes in the same room."

"Make it three." Noelle countered.

"Oh, you're on _Princess_."

Noelle grinned, "Totally, _mortal_."

Marie nodded, "You're learning. That's good."

Sarina raised an eyebrow, "I've missed something else."

"I'm teaching Noelle how to sass." Marie reassured her, "And how to make a good bet on the side."

"Okay, _sensei_." Sarina sighed, "Who's hungry?"

All of the girls raised their hands.

* * *

In the palace, Natasha and Clint sat on one of the balconies overlooking the garden. Clint thought it wasn't nearly as impressive as the one on Asgard, but then again it was winter and the cold had leeched all of the color from the landscape. It was almost depressing, given their current situation.

"Clint?"

He turned towards Natasha, "Yeah, Nat?"

"I want to go home."

"I know."

Truthfully, he did. He wanted to be back in New York with Natasha in his apartment watching _It's A Wonderful Life _with pizza and beer. It was their thing every year. She would come over with pizza from Joey's and he would supply the movie and alcohol. They would sit and watch the movie from beginning to end before moving on to _Casablanca _and any other old film they could find.

Black and White Movie Night, they called it. Except that it took up an entire day. Technicalities never bothered either of them.

"We would be watching movies right now instead of sitting out in the cold."

Clint nudged her arm gently, "Hey, it isn't so bad. I mean, look at this view." He spread his hands out over the dead, barren landscape.

She pursed her lips, "Optimism irritates me. Especially when you're just trying to make me feel better."

"Is it working?"

After a few seconds, she smiled. "A little."

"Then I can handle your irritation."

"You can handle just about anything, Clint. Why else are we still friends?"

"Are you referring to the fact that I'm the only one who can put up with you?"

She shoved his arm lightly, "Shut up."

"Give yourself a little credit, Nat." He said with a smile, "Or I won't either."

"Fine, but I am difficult."

"Yes, you are." Clint agreed, "But what have we said?"

"You can handle just about anything." She repeated, rolling her eyes with a smile.

"And don't forget it."

"You haven't let me." She laughed, her breath making a white cloud in the cold air.

Clint grinned, "Come on. Let's go inside. If we can't watch movies, we can act them out."

She felt her mouth fall open, "You _can't_ be serious."

"Of course I am!" He rose from his chair and grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet, "Think of it like charades! Very detailed charades!"

"You don't _talk_ in charades!"

"Hmm. So not charades then."

He pulled her along much to her dismay.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"You and I are going to get everyone rounded up and we're going to not play charades."

"Clint!"

He grinned, "It'll be fun. Stop worrying."

"It's so childish!"

"Good thing I'm a child."

Natasha smiled and shook her head, finally giving up. She let him pull her along and this time she didn't mind. It would remind her of home. Right now, that was all she could ask for.


	6. Chapter 6

_**First of all, I wanted to say thank you to LilyHiddleston96 and She-WolfMoon for their reviews! (I'll be posting on time now since I'm back home) I hope you guys enjoy chapter 6!**_

* * *

Loki heard laughing. He sat up in his bed and listened again, sure he was mistaken. Then, there it was again. Loud, infectious laughter.

Smiling to himself, he rose and crept to his door before walking out into the hall. As Loki walked by Thor's room, he stopped. That was where the noise was coming from.

He peeked in the door just in time to see Thor attempt to whistle like a train.

Barton and the redhead were there with him, laughing until they turned pink.

With a grin, Clint turned to Thor. "There she blows. You know what the three most exciting sounds in the world are?"

Of course, Thor didn't. He looked to Natasha and she leaned over and whispered something in his ear.

Thor nodded and cleared his throat, clearly amused. "Uh-huh. Breakfast is served; lunch is served; dinner…"

They all lost it then. Acting out _It's A Wonderful Life _was proving to be difficult, seeming as how Clint and Natasha only remembered certain scenes and there were only three of them to play out the many characters. Somehow though, the more difficult it was, the funnier it all seemed to be.

Thor finally saw his brother in the doorway.

"Brother!" He roared happily, "Come in!"

Loki pushed open the door a little further. "What is all of this noise?" He tried to sound annoyed, but he could hardly wipe the smile from his face.

"A movie!" Thor replied, "Or so they tell me. I've never witnessed such a thing."

"Hmm."

Thor waited for Loki to come in further, but he only stood in the doorway. "Well, don't just stand there. _Come in_."

Loki obliged much to Natasha's dismay. Thor, of course, was oblivious to her hesitation and clapped Loki on the back with a smile.

"Join us." He said. "Surely, you have no other plans."

"I can't say that I do." Loki admitted.

"We need all the help we can get." Clint interjected, ignoring the way Natasha glared at him.

It wasn't that she didn't like Loki, but she wasn't comfortable with him around. She respected what he and Sarina had together and accepted that he wasn't a _complete_ psychopath. What she didn't feel like was pretending that everything was alright. It made her feel like a liar even though she hadn't said a word.

"What do I need to do?" Loki asked finally.

Clint smirked. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

Hours later in the cabin, the girls watched as the last light of day faded from the sky.

"They'll be wondering where we went soon." Noelle sighed.

Marie shrugged. "Let them wonder."

Sarina sat back and thought for a few moments. She didn't know if this was right. She claimed to want Loki to remember her and here she was avoiding him.

"We should go back." She said suddenly, startling both of the girls.

"Really?" Noelle asked her. "I thought you wanted to stay."

"There's something I have to do." Sarina said. "You can get Marie back to the palace, right?"

Marie scowled. "Who said _I _wanted to leave?"

"Stay or don't." Sarina said, rushing to her feet. "It's up to you guys. I've just got to go."

"You'll tell them where we are, won't you?" Noelle asked. "So father doesn't worry."

"Yeah." Sarina nodded. "I'll see you both tomorrow."

Without another word, she pulled her cloak over her shoulders and ran out the door to Sleipnir. When she was on his back, he shot forward in the direction of the palace.

* * *

Clint and Natasha had long since left Thor and Loki, their reenactment having run out of creative steam. Thor looked over at his brother, seated by the window with a book in his hands. It didn't take long for Thor to recognize it as one of Sarina's. _Hamlet_, it read on the spine.

"Brother, where did you get that?" Thor asked him warily.

Loki hardly looked up. "It was sitting on your desk. You don't mind, do you?"

Thor remembered being curious enough as to ask Sarina to borrow it, but he'd never so much as touched the cover. It had sat on his desk for who knew how many months and he'd almost forgotten all about it. Thor didn't know what possessed him to bring it to Alfheim. His own carelessness was the cause of the situation he now found himself in.

But, to Loki it was a book and nothing more. If Thor made a fuss over it now, Loki would know that he was hiding something. Surely, it wouldn't hurt for him to read a little of it. Even if it did, it was too late to stop him now.

"No." Thor answered tightly, "No, I don't mind."

"Strange wording." Loki commented distractedly. "Ever so curious."

"It comes from Midgard."

"Really?" Loki's eyes fixed on Thor. "How did you come to acquire it?"

Now what was he supposed to say? His own attempts at giving Loki a vague explanation had turned on him. _Think_!

"A friend allowed me to borrow it. I never gave it back…" Thor mused quietly, hoping that he seemed natural enough in his response.

"They must miss it."

"Why do you say that?"

"It is very captivating." Loki thought for a moment. "Would you mind if I borrowed it from you? It would only be in my possession for several days at most. I would like to read it."

"By all means." Thor conceded. "Do what you will."

"Thank you, brother." Loki rose from his seat with a smile and started towards the door. "I've kept you for far too long. I'll be going now."

"Loki, you will be in the banquet hall tonight I trust?"

"If it is required of me… no." Loki's lips turned up into a devious smirk. "I may not remember much, but I do remember that I am not one who follows the rules."

"No, you aren't." Thor agreed. "But I would like to see you there. It would do you a world of good to be in the company of our friends."

"Perhaps. Goodnight, brother."

Loki left him then, a ghost of a smile still pulling at his pale lips.

* * *

It was nearly time for dinner when a pounding sounded on Thor's door. It was rushed and impatient and grated on his last nerve.

"Coming!" He yelled at the door as he fixed his attire.

Muttering, Thor stormed over to the door and wrenched it open. To his own surprise, he found Sarina standing before him, a quiet desperation shining in her eyes.

"Sarina." He said. "You've returned."

"I have just come in from riding." She answered him. "Noelle and Marie will return in the morning, but for now I have a favor to ask of you."

"Name it."

"I need to see Loki."

Thor blinked, not sure of how to go about in his response. He had pushed and pushed for Sarina to see his brother and had not been able to make any progress whatsoever. Now, here she was demanding his help. As if he had not been there all along.

Reason kicked in then. She hadn't been ready. She hadn't wanted to be pushed. If she was here now, that meant that she truly needed his help and it was his help that he would give.

"Come inside." He said and she did.

When the door was closed, Thor turned to see Sarina sitting in the chair that Loki had been seated in not too long ago. She sighed and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry to barge in like this."

"There is no need to apologize." He assured her. "Don't worry about anything."

"That's the thing. I thought I was ready. I rode back to the palace as fast as I could because I _knew_ I was ready. Now, I'm on the verge of having a panic attack." She attempted to take a deep breath, but managed a very shallow one instead. "I can't…" Her voice shook, "breathe."

Thor realized that she was about to faint and walked swiftly to her side and helped her up. She seemed suddenly frail as she leaned on him and allowed him to half carry her out of his room.

"Sarina, listen to me."

"Listening." She gasped softly as her vision swam.

"We're almost outside now. You have to calm down."

He listened to Sarina's feeble attempts to slow the racing of her heart, the way that she refused to give in to the nausea that was threatening to consume her. Thor was reminded of the day that Loki had emerged from the caves of Romanos, Sarina at his side battered and bruised, but still she had smiled at Thor when he'd spoken.

She fought back the darkness with her light and Thor knew then that some of her old self was returning. Sarina was putting up a fight again instead of yielding before it had even begun.

She was like Loki that way. He fought the darkness that threatened to consume him with a ferocity that most people lacked, but even Loki tired sometimes.

They exited the palace and Thor helped Sarina sit down on the front stairs.

"Breathe." He instructed her.

Sarina tried her best. The brisk air brought her back to her senses and she was soon able to breathe normally again. When she was absolutely calm, she looked over at Thor.

"Thanks."

"Of course."

"So about your brother…" She started.

"Loki will be in the banquet hall for dinner tonight." Thor promised her. "Everyone will be there. We'll try to keep everything going smoothly."

"Okay."

"And Sarina?"

"Yes?"

"Keep your head."

"I will."

"I mean it." He said. "Everything depends on you being rational tonight."

She nodded and rose from her seat on the stairs, ignoring the way her knees shook as she stood. She couldn't afford to be nervous now, not when dinner was only an hour and a half away.

"I should go get ready then."

"I'll see you at dinner."

* * *

Sarina paced her room, fighting down the urge to run to the stables and ride away on Sleipnir. She could do this. There was no reason she couldn't do this.

Sarina sighed heavily and stole a glance at herself in the mirror. She had chosen a long scarlet gown that trailed behind her elegantly as she walked. It had been one of Loki's favorites. Her long dark hair fell in waves around her shoulders and down her back and her honey-brown eyes shone brightly with doubt.

A knock sounded on her door and Sarina turned towards the sound.

"Come in."

The door opened and Noelle poked her head in. "Ready?"

Sarina grinned. "Noelle!"

Noelle pushed the door open wider to reveal Marie, hands on her hips.

"Oh, I see how it is." She said.

"I thought you were staying in the cabin until tomorrow."

"Father sent for us. He heard of your plans for this evening." Noelle said.

"_Thor_." Sarina muttered and then smiled nervously. "I'm glad you're back."

Marie scowled. "Thank us later. I want to get this over with so I can burn this idiotic dress."

Sarina grinned as she took in Marie in her lavender gown that seemed as if it belonged in a fairy tale. Totally not her style.

"That is _my_ dress." Noelle grumbled. "You will not be setting it on fire."

"Fine. Come on Sarina. Before the temptation becomes too great." Marie said and grabbed her friend's arm as she pulled her out into the hall.

"Wait!" Sarina cried and they all froze.

"What?" Marie asked.

"You can't leave me alone. Not for a _second_. Understand?"

Both of the girls read the fear and desperation in Sarina's face and immediately knew why Freyr had sent for them. She needed them now more than ever.

"Okay." Marie said. "We won't."

Noelle slipped her arm through her sister's and they began to walk towards the banquet hall.


	7. Chapter 7

_**First of all, I would like to extend a special thanks to LilyHiddleston96 for reviewing on every chapter I've posted thus far! It means so much! **_

_**This is one of the last chapters that will precede the continuation of the actions that took place at the end of Trust My Rage. I will begin to focus on Amora and her intentions more in depth as I begin to write about the happenings on Asgard during all of the events taking place on Midgard and on Alfheim. **_

_**There's much, much more to come. For now, I hope you enjoy chapter 7! **_

_**Thank you all again!**_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

"Look, we're going to walk in here together and it will be fine. He's never on time for meals anyway. You have to breathe, Sarina." Marie pleaded softly as she attempted to coax her now frozen friend into the banquet hall.

"I can't do this."

"Yes you can!" Noelle assured her. "And neither Marie nor I will leave your side."

"You'll be begging us to leave you alone by the time dinner is over." Marie swore, tugging at Sarina's wrists. "Come on, S. Please."

Sarina looked up then. Marie hadn't called her 'S' since the day she and Elizabeth had left for the exchange program. Sarina had been dazed and depressed, knowing that she wouldn't see her friends for a year. It was a nickname that was used solely for the purpose of bringing her back to the present.

It worked.

"Okay." Sarina murmured and let Marie pull her into the banquet hall.

She was met with boisterous laughter coming from those who surrounded Sif and the Warriors Three at their end of the table, telling wild tales of their conquests no doubt. Volstagg never tired of entertaining the many residents in the palace of Asgard and he was most certainly in heaven since these on Alfheim had not heard the stories before.

Sif could be seen rolling her eyes from time to time as she watched Fandral flirting with the handmaidens that flocked to him like bees to honey. He was a flirt, that was true, and it irritated Sif more than she would ever let him know.

Thor sat down by Freyr, who dined in plainclothes to be more at ease, talking quietly between each other. The King, though very aware of his responsibilities, was like Sarina in the way that sometimes he needed to feel as if he was just another person in the world and not anything more.

He dined amongst his warriors and friends to let them know, and to remind himself that though he was King, he was also just another man.

As Noelle took her place beside her father and Sarina approached the table with Marie, Thor's eyes landed on them.

"Sarina!" He said cheerily, "You came."

She nodded. "Where am I to sit?"

"Here." Thor stood and moved over one seat so that the seat on Freyr's right hand side was available. "By your father."

"Thor, you don't have to move." She protested, but Thor shook his head.

"Sit." He said.

Freyr smiled encouragingly at Sarina and motioned for her to take the seat.

"Go on." The King chuckled. "I promise I don't bite."

Sarina gave him a small smile and eased into the chair. "Hello."

"It is lovely to see you again, Sarina. I must admit, you had me worrying over you. I did not know if I would lay eyes on you tonight or weeks from now."

"I'm sorry." She said.

Freyr shook his head. "No, do not apologize. Noelle was very much like you in that way. She ran off into the woods every chance she had and I almost had to force her to come home."

Noelle laughed, "You never dared try, Father. I would have only stayed away longer."

The King's eyes twinkled as he glanced at his daughter with a smile, "You know me too well, child. Just like your mother."

Noelle's smile remained, but Sarina's faded away slowly. She and Noelle must have had the same mother. The only difference between them was that Noelle had known her and Sarina never would. It occurred to her then that Noelle had never mentioned her and that Sarina had never seen her in the palace. Had she died?

"Our mother…" Sarina began softly, "Will you tell me about her?"

Freyr seemed startled at first, almost as if he didn't know how or where to begin. It had almost slipped his mind that Sarina had never known Dianna. The very thought of his wife…

She had nearly been destroyed when Sarina had been taken from them and as her husband slowly began to accept that the child would not return, Dianna never gave up hope. It consumed her. When Noelle was born several years later, Dianna had devoted herself wholly to the little girl, but her mind was always on the child she had lost. After so many years of despairing, Dianna fell ill.

It was too much for her.

Noelle's mother had passed away when she was a young girl of fifteen. It would be six years to the day in the spring.

"What would you like to know?" Freyr asked her gently.

Sarina thought for a moment. "Do I… look like her?"

"Yes." He said. "You have her eyes," And then with a small laugh, "and her spirit."

"Don't forget her hair." Noelle added. "We certainly didn't get the brown from you."

Freyr laughed softly, knowing that it was true. His golden blonde hair hadn't been given to either of the girls. They had Dianna's hair.

It seemed to him now as he looked at them both, that Dianna had given them everything.

"Tell me more." Sarina urged, leaning forward to hear over the laughter.

"She was wild." Freyr told her. "She never wanted to follow any rules but her own. There were days when she would sneak out of the palace and roam the towns, dressed as one of the common folk."

Noelle smiled. "She took me with her once. Father sent out his Guard to look for me because she'd forgotten to tell him where we were going."

Sarina grinned. "What happened then?"

Freyr pinched the bridge of his nose, "Dianna immediately began to poke fun at me when they arrived home. I couldn't very well stay angry with her. She made me smile." He looked at Sarina. "She made everyone smile."

Sarina put her hand over one of his that rested atop the table. "Thank you." She said softly.

Sarina knew enough for the night. She would ask more about her mother some other day. For then, she felt a little less like a stranger and more like a part of the family she was only just discovering she truly had.

Before Freyr could reply, familiar footfalls sounded through the banquet hall. She would know that sound anywhere. She fought down her fear and forced her heart to beat as normally as possible as she looked up from the table.

He had come after all.

_Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, ACT NORMAL DAMN IT!_

Loki pulled out the chair opposite his brother and sat down. Sarina clenched her hands into fists and shoved them discreetly in her lap. This was going to be the longest night of her life.

"Loki." Freyr greeted smoothly. "Welcome. I trust you are feeling well."

"I am. Thank you." Loki replied softly and his eyes roved over those sitting at his end of the table, resting for a moment on Sarina before moving on.

Sarina had been expecting this, but… nothing could have prepared her for how it actually made her feel. It crushed her.

Thor saw how her face fell and cleared his throat, attempting to give her a moment to compose herself.

"Brother. How are you enjoying _Hamlet_?"

Sarina couldn't help but feel slightly startled. She remembered loaning that book to Thor long ago and the fact that Loki was reading it now intrigued her.

Loki nodded reflectively, "I enjoyed it very much."

"You finished it?"

As his eyes landed on her, Sarina's pulse pounded in her ears. It took her a moment to realize that the voice that had spoken was her own.

"Yes." He answered her with a slight smile. "I did."

"How did you find the ending?"

"Predictable." Loki responded, intrigued.

"Predictable or tragic?" She asked. "Shakespeare draws a very thin line between the two and sometimes, we fool ourselves into thinking that tragedy is predictable and they become one and the same."

Loki leaned forward slightly. "You read Shakespeare's works?"

"I've read them all." Sarina answered truthfully, pushing herself to keep him engaged in the conversation. "All are different and all hold a special place in my heart."

"Perhaps I shall have to continue on reading them, then."

"I would recommend it." Sarina said with a small smile. "You might be surprised at how they capture you."

"Indeed." Loki murmured.

A small void of silence fell over them for a moment, but did not last long. Thor quickly steered the conversation in a different direction to keep any awkwardness at bay though he noticed how Loki's eyes kept wandering over to look at Sarina who was now engaged in her own quiet discussion with her father and sister.

Noelle and Marie beamed at Sarina and she couldn't help but smile back. She had done it. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

In that moment, it was just enough.

* * *

After dinner, Sarina rose from her chair slowly. Out of respect, the men at her end of the table rose also.

She smiled, "I'm afraid I must say goodnight."

"Already?" Loki blurted.

Sarina ignored the leap of her heart and nodded. "I have much to do upon tomorrow."

The longer she stayed here, the more the way she talked was affected. Right now, she was thankful for it. Loki never suspected this wasn't where she belonged.

Noelle rose from her chair and shot a look at Marie who rose also. Marie was more than ready to get out of there. Noelle's dress was _begging_ to be incinerated.

"We must go as well." Noelle kissed her father's cheek. "Goodnight, Father."

"Goodnight, my dear." He said and turned to Sarina. "Goodnight, Sarina. Try not to wander too far tomorrow."

Sarina laughed softly. "I'll try."

She walked away from the table with Marie and Noelle. Sarina didn't need to look back to know that Loki's eyes watched until she was out of sight.

As soon as they were in the hallway, Sarina released a breath and leaned against the wall.

"You did it!" Noelle squealed, hugging her.

"WHOOO!" Marie yelled and made the girls laugh.

The entire banquet hall heard the whoop of excitement and discreet smiles tugged at the lips of Thor and the King. They knew what a triumph tonight was for Sarina.

Sarina laughed breathlessly. "I did it."

"Come on." Noelle said, pulling her sister off the wall. "So they don't hear _everything_."

The three girls walked down the corridor with huge grins plastered to their lips, too relieved to care about how they must seem – so happy in such a dark situation.

"Do you feel better now?" Marie asked Sarina as they approached their rooms.

"I will once my knees stop shaking." Sarina admitted.

Noelle stopped walking as she reached her door. "I'm going to retire. Are the three of us riding tomorrow?"

"I don't know." Marie looked towards Sarina. "Are we?"

"Maybe for a little while. I'd actually like to stick around the palace some."

Noelle and Marie exchanged a small smile.

"Okay." They said.

"Goodnight!" Sarina called, walking down the hall to her room.

"Goodnight!"

When Sarina was in her room, Marie looked over at Noelle with a grin.

"She's back."


	8. Chapter 8

**_Before I say anything else, I wanted to thank LilyHiddleston96 for all of her reviews! _**

**_Also, if you guys want to see more of a certain pairing or you think I'm not putting someone in the story enough, please let me know. I want to make sure I include everyone as much as I can._**

**_Thank you all for your support! I hope you enjoy chapter 8!_**

**_-lightinside_**

* * *

The next morning, Sarina awakened with a smile on her face. Yesterday's small victory was still on her mind as she got out of bed and readied herself for a day in the palace.

When she was dressed, she danced over to Marie's room and knocked on the door. Her friend came to the door, leaning on it as if she were still half asleep as it opened.

"What is it?" She yawned.

"Time to go!" Sarina answered.

"_Go_?" Marie scowled. "At this _ungodly_ hour?"

"It's nearly ten."

Marie rubbed her eyes sluggishly. "Doesn't matter. Anything before noon is ungodly."

Sarina raised an eyebrow. "Marie. How late did you stay up?"

Marie shrugged. "Ten-ish… maybe five. I lost track."

A sigh escaped Sarina's lips. "Go back to sleep. I'll come back for you after Noelle and I go to brunch."

"Mmm. Sounds peachy."

The door closed and Sarina walked down the hall to retrieve her sister. Noelle was awake and ready to go when Sarina arrived at her door, meeting her out in the hall with a smile.

"Good morning!"

"No time." Sarina grabbed her arm and pulled her down the hall, "I'm starving."

"I'm _sure_ that's why you're so eager." Noelle agreed sarcastically.

"Mmmhmm." Sarina agreed. "Sustenance. You have to love it."

Noelle shook her head with a smile and allowed her sister to pull her the rest of the way into the banquet hall.

They ate quickly when they realized that Loki was not going to come down for breakfast. Sarina and Noelle rushed back to Marie's room, not bothering to knock softly.

"GET UP!" Sarina yelled through the thick wood.

"DON'T MAKE US COME IN THERE!" Noelle chorused, pounding on the door.

Marie huffed and stormed over to the door, wrenching it open with a glare that made both of the girls giggle uncontrollably.

"Don't get your panties in a twist." She muttered. "I'm right here."

Sarina nearly choked on a laugh. "_Marie_!"

"You woke me up. You left me to eat breakfast and don't bring me _anything_ back. You pounded on my door and yelled like banshees until I answered. I have reserved the right to say anything I like." She sniffed, crossing her arms.

"Okay, Grumpy." Noelle teased with a grin. "Can you take a break from pouting long enough to go for a ride?"

Marie considered it. "Only if you'll give me food."

Sarina grinned and wrapped her arm around Marie's shoulders, coaxing her out into the hall. "Of course we will."

"Fine."

Several minutes later, all of the girls had mounted their horses and Marie was grumbling about leaving. She wanted to get to the cabin as soon as possible so that she could eat. Not to mention it was freezing outside.

"I don't know why in the world you don't dress more warmly." Sarina told her.

Marie gritted her teeth against the cold. "The cold never bothered me anyway."

"We'd better hurry before she freezes in place." Noelle called to her sister as her horse pawed at the ground with a snort.

"Sarina!"

The girls looked towards the palace steps and saw Thor rushing out towards them, arms waving in the air. He looked like a muscled windmill. The thought almost made Sarina laugh as he approached her.

"Where are you going?"

She looked at Marie and Noelle before answering. "For a ride."

"Are you coming back soon?"

"It should only take an hour or so. Why?"

Thor grinned. "Someone is itching to see you again."

Her eyes narrowed. "If you're lying to me…"

"No! I swear on my father! My brother was absolutely intrigued by your opinions last night. He's hardly ceased to speak of them since." He chirped happily.

"OOOoOH!" Marie laughed. "Someone is blushing!"

Sarina attempted to cover her burning cheeks. "I am not!"

As much as she tried, she couldn't keep the smile from her face. Loki had noticed her. He had really noticed her.

Before their conversation could delve any deeper, Marie's phone began to ring. They all looked over at her, waiting for her to answer. Instead, she hummed as the theme song from _F.R.I.E.N.D.S _floated up from her cell before answering.

"What's the sitch?" Someone's voice floated through the receiver and Marie's mouth fell open. "_Elizabeth_? Where the hell are you!? We've all been worried sick! Do you know how much you've put us through? Why haven't you called? Why was your number disconnected?"

Sarina slid down from Sleipnir and walked over to Marie, holding her hand out for the phone.

"Give that to me." She said and Marie handed her the phone.

"Sarina?" Elizabeth's voice asked in her ear, sounding almost haggard.

"Are you okay?" Sarina asked her. "Before you say another word, tell me you're okay."

"I'm okay." Elizabeth assured her. "I'm with Bruce."

"Where are you?"

"Um… Utah, I think."

"_UTAH_?" Sarina squeaked. "What in God's name are you doing in Utah? Why aren't you in New York?"

"No one else has called you?" Elizabeth asked.

"No. Elizabeth, what's going on?"

"Bruce won't tell me much." She muttered angrily. "But I do know that something is going down in Washington and it has to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. They've sent out assassins to locate the team. He's been moving us around and using cash and… _I miss you guys_."

It sounded to Sarina as if Elizabeth was on the verge of tears.

"Hey, you'll be okay." Sarina reassured her softly. "Everything is going to be fine."

In truth, the thought of hired guns going after everyone she knew scared the hell out of her. It scared her so much that she wanted to break down and cry, too. But Elizabeth needed her.

"I'm so mad at Bruce. He's driving me crazy and I can't have a cell so I'm calling from a payphone outside a motel." Elizabeth sniffed. "I miss you and I want you to come home, but you guys can't come back. You have to stay there. The second you set foot back in New York, they'll be after you."

Sarina didn't dare tell Elizabeth that the Bifrost was closed. She knew that Elizabeth at least knew what had happened to Loki through Tony…

A thought struck Sarina. "Tony and Pepper. Where are they?"

"They're gone too, if they know what's good for them."

"And Jane?"

At the sound of Jane's name, Thor tuned into the conversation.

"She took Darcy and Selvig and ran off. I don't know where they are."

Everyone was listening to the conversation now and Sarina did her best to maintain her poker face. With Marie looking at her with those wide, frightened eyes however, it was suddenly very difficult.

Sarina knew that there was one person she hadn't asked about yet and it was the one person she knew that S.H.I.E.L.D would call if there was ever a threat to the organization. As Marie watched her, Sarina knew she had to ask.

For some reason, she feared the answer.

"What about Steve?"

"He's in Washington. Fury called him in privately last week before all of this started happening. He was the one who let us know that everyone had been compromised. That was the last I heard of him."

"Do you know anything else?"

"I overheard Bruce talking the other night on the phone. I think I know who's behind all of this."

"Tell me."

"They call him the Winter Soldier."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thank you to She-WolfMoon and LilyHiddleston96 for their reviews! I hope you all enjoy chaper nine! **_

_**The introduction is very short, I know, but I'm going to see X-Men: Days of Future Past! *insert inhuman noises here* I HAVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS DAY! WHOOO! Okay, I'm done fangirling. I don't have time! I'm off to the movies! :D **_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

When everything had been explained to Marie, Sarina could plainly see the fury written all over her features. She hung up the phone and slipped from her horse, no longer aware of the cold. Marie strode with purpose towards the palace.

"MARIE!" Sarina yelled, walking quickly after her. "Wait!"

"STAY OUT OF IT!"

Marie broke into a run so unexpectedly that Sarina was left there stunned before she could respond appropriately.

"_MARIE_!"

Her friend didn't respond. Marie tore through the palace in another one of Noelle's horrendously frilly dresses – her appearance not matching her emotions – searching out one person. The one person she knew had heard from Steve. The person that had _lied_ to her.

Natasha.

She found her in the banquet hall where they had only been moments before. Natasha was seated with Clint at their end of the table and to Marie's surprise, so was Loki. They were talking civilly, _for once_. Of course, he hardly knew them.

Marie knew she was too angry to keep herself from causing a scene. Even so, she didn't want to do this in front of Loki and ruin everything.

"Natasha." She said, walking over to her side of the table. "I need to speak with you."

Natasha read something in Marie's flashing eyes that alerted her as to the nature of her visit immediately. "Marie…"

"Get up and follow me." Marie hissed under her breath. "I don't want to have to do this here."

"Okay." Natasha said, rising from her chair apologetically. She turned to Loki and Clint who were watching in confusion. "I'll be right back."

Marie stormed ahead of her, clenching her teeth to keep everything from spewing out all at once after she had showed such extraordinary restraint already. Sarina met her halfway, eyes wide and worried.

"What are you doing?" She asked Marie.

"Did you know?" Marie yelled, her restraint gone in an instant. "Did you know, too?"

Sarina's mouth fell open. She'd never seen Marie this upset. "Know _what_!?"

Marie turned on Natasha. "Tell me everything right now and don't you _dare_ lie to me again."

"I never lied!" Natasha assured her. "I didn't. I only told you what he asked me to say."

"But you _knew_!" She was inching dangerously close to Natasha, her eyes alight with a fire none of them had ever seen in Marie before. It made the agent nervous. "You knew what was going on and you didn't tell _any of us_!"

Sarina looked over at Natasha who was looking guiltier by the second. "What did you know Natasha?"

The normally so stoic red head sighed in defeat. "I knew about Washington. I knew… I knew that everyone had scattered. Steve called and told me what I needed to know, but he made me _swear_ that I wouldn't worry either of you with it."

"You knew about Elizabeth." Sarina murmured. "You knew… everything?"

"Mostly everything." Natasha admitted.

"How long?"

"Not that long…"

"_How long_?" Sarina asked again, her voice adamant and harsh.

"Since the third day we were here. That's when Steve called."

"You've known for _THREE WEEKS_!?" Sarina's temper detonated, her voice erupting from within her like a shrill and terrifying siren. "How could you not say something!?"

"I promised!" Natasha yelled back, "And when you have as little friends as I do, promises are more than trivial nothings to be broken!"

"I can't _believe_ you!" Sarina screeched, "Have you not _been here_? This isn't the time to start keeping secrets, Natasha!"

"It wasn't my place!"

Marie gaped at her. "Not your… not your _place_? Are you _freaking _kidding me!?"

"Girls!"

They all looked up to see Freyr jogging towards them along with Noelle. Of course she'd gone to go get him. _Of course_.

"What is going on?" He asked, taking in the scene before him.

"Please…" Sarina bit back the anger in her tone to keep from taking it out on her father. "Please don't try to intervene right now."

"Marie," Noelle murmured, focusing on her friend instead of her sister. "You need to walk away before this gets any worse."

Marie glared at Natasha for another moment before walking the other way, a tornado of emotions spinning around in her brain and in her heart. Sarina felt the same way. She had begun to trust Natasha. She had been counting on the fact that she and her friends would be open and honest with each other. They couldn't afford not to be.

Yet, that hadn't stopped Natasha from hiding this from them.

Sarina didn't walk away or attempt to follow Marie. All she did was stare at Natasha as if the woman had shoved a knife between her shoulder blades. It was one of those moments when she felt like she knew what Julius Caesar had experienced when he said "_Et tu Brute_?"

Getting stabbed in the back, literally and figuratively, apparently felt like shit.

"Tell me _everything_." Sarina ordered her coldly. "And then I'll decide what to do with all of this."

Natasha's eyes pleaded for her forgiveness as she spoke. "Where do you want me to start?"

"The Winter Soldier. Who is he?"

"Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. He's a ghost. You'll never find him."

"Keep going." Sarina ushered.

"He belongs to Hydra. I know it. It isn't a coincidence, Hydra overturning S.H.I.E.L.D the moment the Winter Soldier turns up. There's something more, something we aren't seeing."

"Have you called Fury?" Sarina asked through gritted teeth. She hated that man. She trusted him as far as she could throw him and knowing what she knew now about what he had done to Loki… this question was like acid on her tongue.

"He's dead."

Sarina snapped out of her venomous thoughts with a start. "_What_?"

"Compromised in the field. Steve was with him. So was the Winter Soldier."

"Can't this be stopped?" Sarina was disgusted with the desperation in her voice, but if someone could kill _Nick Fury_ of all people, then no one was safe. "Isn't there someone who can put an end to this?"

"The name is exactly what it sounds like. If you cut off one head, two more will take its place. There is no _ending _Hydra unless we rounded up all of the rogues and that, quite frankly, is impossible. There's no telling how many spies have infiltrated the system."

"You're telling me there's nothing to be done."

It wasn't a question.

"Yes." Natasha answered her gently. "All we can do is wait for news."

"Tell me… how were agents from Hydra able to blend so easily into S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"I…"

"No more lies."

"Fury was mapping out another branch of the program – weapons. I didn't say much to Fury and I certainly didn't tell Steve. He didn't have clearance. But I didn't agree with it. It unsettled me. Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D may be completely different on the exterior, but the ideas were the same. The program was corrupting itself."

"We have to shut it down."

"What!?"

"You said it yourself! Fury and the rest of us may not have been a part of Hydra, but S.H.I.E.L.D had the same ideas as they did! If we want to shut Hydra down, S.H.I.E.L.D goes too! It's just the way it has to be!"

"The Avengers Initiate would be disbanded."

"Officially, yes."

"And that doesn't bother you? Your life will change _completely_."

"Look around you, Natasha!" Sarina spread her arms in the air. "Things already are changing. My _life_ has already changed. I'm dealing with things that I never dreamed I would ever have to face. This is just another bridge I have to cross."

Natasha thought for a moment. "I'll talk to Clint."

"Good." Sarina nodded. "I know that the truth isn't all things to all people all the time. But this… this _will not_ happen again. If it does, I'll let Marie take a swing at you. Trust me, she doesn't hold back."

"It won't happen again."

"Don't make me regret trusting you, Romanoff." Sarina warned her. "I don't forgive easily. Not anymore."

"Then maybe you and I aren't so different."

Sarina's thoughts centered around those words as she stood there. She had felt as if she would never connect to Natasha – it didn't matter how long they would know each other. Now, however, Sarina felt as if the gap between them was slowly being filled.

"Maybe we aren't." Sarina murmured.

Noelle and Freyr had been giving them their space, but Sarina could feel their eyes on the scene before them. The apprehension in the air dissipated finally and Sarina took that chance to make her leave.

"I'm going to find Marie." She said. "I'll see you all at dinner."

With a nod at Freyr and Noelle, Sarina skirted past Natasha and headed the way her friend had gone.

Marie was angry, that was true, but Sarina couldn't find the restraint necessary to give her space. She had to at least make sure that she hadn't run off, even if she didn't stay.

"Sarina?"

Her heart hammered in her chest as she turned around at the sound of his voice.

"Yes?"

Loki stood in the hallway, shooting her a lopsided grin. Butterflies beat at the inside of her stomach relentlessly, stealing all coherent thoughts away.

"I… didn't see you in the banquet hall this morning."

Sarina blinked, trying her best to formulate an answer. "I went earlier."

"I was hoping to catch you. I'm afraid I can't find any Midgardian books in the library here. Since you were the one my brother received _Hamlet_ from… would you happen to have more books with you?"

"I'm afraid that I don't." She replied apologetically. "But, my sis – um… Noelle might have them."

"Your sister?"

He'd caught it.

"Yes. My sister."

"Why do you hesitate?"

"It's a long story." Sarina admitted. "I'm afraid it would bore you."

He knew that her saying that was another way to deflect and so he didn't push her. "Some other time, perhaps?"

Sarina smiled, her gratitude evident. "Yes. That would be better."

He smiled back. "You mentioned that Noelle might have the books?"

"Oh! Right." Sarina scolded herself internally for getting off-track. "Can you ride?"

Loki blinked, confused as to where that fit in the conversation. "Pardon?"

"Can you ride? Do you have time?"

"I have plenty of time." He assured her.

"Good." Sarina said and began to walk towards the courtyard. "Come on." When he didn't move, she turned around so that she could shoot him a playful smirk. "Or do you have something better to do?"

"Not that I can recall." Loki replied with a grin.

"Then, may I remind you that the courtyard is this way?" She pointed down the hall and didn't wait for him to join her before she began to walk away again.

This had the exact effect that she had wanted. It intrigued him. Loki followed her, not able to detect that she had been feeling any sort of animosity before he'd laid eyes on her that morning.

Sarina's anger was pushed to the back of her mind as she and Loki mounted their horses – Sarina on Sleipnir and Loki on a white mare named Lila. It was Noelle's mare, but Sarina was sure her sister wouldn't mind.

"I'm trusting that you can keep up." Sarina teased Loki as Sleipnir snorted, his sign that he was becoming impatient.

He scoffed. "You clearly don't know me."

Sarina's heart felt like it had been slashed by a thousand knives all at once. The gravity of his statement was suffocating and yet, she couldn't let it show on her face that it bothered her in any way.

"No, I must not." She answered tightly, forcing a smile on her face. "But you'll have to prove that to me."

Without another word, she pushed Sleipnir into action and he shot forward, leaving Loki behind in several strides. He called out to Sarina and she only pushed the horse further. Loki could keep up, she knew. But there was something in her that knew the moment she stopped, everything would catch up to her.

It was the same feeling that she'd had in the days she would avoid the palace completely and it was the absolute worst time for it to return.

He wouldn't understand what was going on. She had to pull it together.

_Pull it together…_

It wasn't going to work.

Sarina couldn't make herself slow down. Sleipnir, however, knew that it was time to stop. They were nearing the cabin and the horse was used to taking her there. Sarina almost cried out in protest when Sleipnir slowed to a halt and waited for Loki and Lila to catch up.

When they did, Loki's eyes were full of worry.

"Are you alright?"

Sarina swallowed and forced a smile on her face. "Yes. Yes. I'm fine. I got a little carried away. Lost myself."

_Almost_.

"We can turn back, if you need to."

"No!" She said hurriedly. "Really, I'm alright."

"Would you like to talk to me?" He asked, still studying her.

His emerald green eyes were driving her crazy. She wanted to tell him everything right then. She _needed_ to. But Sarina knew that it would only hurt him and so she pressed her lips together.

"No…" She murmured. "I don't think that would help."

Sarina slipped down off of Sleipnir and Loki followed her as she walked towards the cabin without a word.

She bit her lip and opened the door, thinking much too late that bringing Loki out here was a mistake.

"Let me find those books."


	10. Chapter 10

_**I hope you all enjoy chapter 10! I'm sorry that it has taken me this long to post! I've been extremely busy for the past few days. As for X-Men: Days of Future Past... I'll admit that I walked out of the theater fangirling and making noises that I'd never heard before. If you haven't seen it, GO SEE IT! It's probably the best movie I've seen all year excluding The Winter Soldier and any other Marvel movie that I might be excluding that came out this year. Marvel ANYTHING is life. End of story.**_

_**I bought all of the X-Men movies so that I could go see it and know what was going on and I REGRET NOTHING!**_

_**Ahem. Okay. I'll leave you to read now.**_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

Marie didn't know what to do. She was still fuming and in the back of her mind, she kept expecting Sarina to come running after her.

She wouldn't mind the company, she supposed. It might keep her from doing something rash. However, the longer that Marie paced her room alone, the more she knew that Sarina wasn't coming after all.

Maybe that was better.

As the minutes stretched on and on and she stayed furious, Marie knew that she had to get it out of her system somehow. She fished her cell out of her pocket. In several seconds, she had located Steve's contact information and clicked on it; putting the phone to her ear as it rang.

With each ring, her heart beat louder and faster in her ears. When the call went to voicemail, she knew she wouldn't be able to stay angry. The thing about Steve's voicemail was that it was virtually impossible to hear it and stay angry if you were.

It went like this:

"Uh… is this on? I don't know what to…"

Scuffling could be heard in the background and then Tony's voice jumped in, full of his usual sass.

"Tell them your name, Capsicle! You don't want them to think you're Mother Teresa of Calcutta! Speak!"

"You've… reached Steven Rogers…"

"Tell them to leave a message!" Tony called.

"Leave a message." Static filled the phone for a moment as Steve apparently attempted to cover the receiver with his hand. "Now what do I do?"

"Press one and save the message, Einstein."

"Einstein…?"

"Don't hurt your brain, Cap. It's an insult." Tony sighed. "Just press the butt-"

The message cut off abruptly and a beep filled the gap of silence, letting Marie know that she could record her message.

She had planned to yell. To say; "STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!" and follow with phrases and names that she would _never_ utter even at her most provoked.

Now that the opportunity was presenting itself, all she could think was that she hoped he was alright.

He _had_ to be alright.

"Steve… it's Marie again." She winced at the desperation in her voice. "I know… well, I know everything now. I, um… please call me. I need to know that you're okay. Please. If I don't hear from you… no, just _call_. I swear, I won't even be angry if you'll just let me know that you're alright."

Marie took a deep breath and considered what she'd just said.

"Okay, I'll be _furious_, but I still want to hear from you because…"

_You're an asshole. You promised you'd be back. You told Natasha you'd see me soon. You lied. I love you._

"I just do." She said. "Okay… bye."

Marie ended the call and slumped against the wall.

Now… all that was left to do was wait for him to call back.

* * *

As Loki and Sarina dismounted their horses in front of the palace steps, he stopped in front of her with a smile.

"Thank you."

In his hands was _The Merchant of Venice_ – the only book of Shakespeare's that Noelle had in the cabin.

"I'm only sorry there weren't more." She said softly.

"Oh, no!" Loki assured her. "This is more than enough. Thank you, Sarina. Truly."

She gave him a small smile. "Of course. If I should find any more, I'll let you know."

"I look forward to it."

With a small nod, she glanced towards the palace. "I must go now."

Loki caught her arm loosely as she made a move to leave. "Will I see you this evening?"

Sarina was confused. "Do you _want_ to?"

Loki studied her for a moment, realized that her modesty was truly the product of her own blindness. She could not see herself as he saw her. She did not see her own beauty.

For some reason, this stunned him. He remembered meeting so many women who flirted shamelessly with both him and his brother, flaunting their charms as if they were trying to profit from them.

Sarina was so different, it was almost shocking. She hid behind walls, behind those amber eyes, and it made him think there were locked doors – secrets – that were only waiting to be discovered. It seemed to him sometimes that she wanted him to know, as if he could push her a little further and she would tell all.

But he didn't want that. He wanted her to come to him in her own time. He didn't want to have to force her to give him any part of her that didn't want to be given yet.

He wanted to _earn_ her respect and _deserve_ her. That concept was something completely new.

"Yes." He answered her gently. "I would like to see you."

Sarina fought back the urge to ask him why and only smiled, hoping that he couldn't hear the way her heart hammered against her ribs.

"Then you will."

_Wait, what? NO! _

Sarina's consciousness was screaming at her, but for once she didn't care. If she was going to stop being so awkward around Loki, she had to begin building a friendship with him. She couldn't do that by hiding in her room.

"Until tonight, then." He said, and released her arm.

"Until tonight."

* * *

There was never a moment in Sarina's life where she questioned _anything_. She was a very laidback person that generally went with the flow. _This_, however, had her in a frenzy.

Loki had said outright that he wanted to see her. What was she going to do? It wasn't like it was a bad thing! She _wanted_ him to love her again. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she was terrified.

Sarina didn't know if she could take losing him again.

If they became close and fell in love all over again and she finally had his heart… and then the war came and stole it all away?

What then?

Sarina picked up her phone, taking a break from the constant pacing she'd been doing. Without thinking, she dialed Elizabeth's number.

"The number you have dialed-"

Sarina groaned and ended the call before the message could tell her that Elizabeth's number had been disconnected. The moment she needed to vent and all she got was a generic, computer generated, irritating wench that crushed her hopes into small pieces.

She put her cell down on the table and fell back onto her bed. It was the strangest situation she'd ever been in and she couldn't talk about it to either of her best friends.

Elizabeth was who knew where without a cell phone and Marie was probably breaking things in her room or screaming at Steve over voicemail.

Oh, SHIT!

Sarina jumped up and grabbed her cloak, running out of the door so quickly she almost fell over.

She needed to find Marie!

Sarina ran to Marie's room and knocked on the door quietly, pulling herself together in case her friend came to the door. In a few seconds, Sarina heard shuffling behind the door and it creaked open to reveal Marie – exhausted and losing hope.

"Hey."

Marie opened the door wider. "Come in."

Sarina walked through the door and over to the desk, sitting down in the chair as Marie closed the door and sat down on her bed.

"How are you holding up?" Sarina asked her softly.

Her friend shrugged. "Fine."

"Marie…"

"Look, I've been in here with nothing to do but wallow. Can we not talk about this anymore?"

Sarina nodded. "Sure."

"Good. Now, what have you been up to?"

"Um… walking and just, you know… doing things."

Marie raised an eyebrow knowingly. "You've been out with Loki."

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And, he wants to see me tonight."

Marie's entire face lit up. "SARINA! OH MY GOD!"

"Well…"

She began to scowl. "Sarina Rose Baker, why are you not as excited for yourself as I am?"

"I'm afraid."

"Sarina, you're letting yourself get in your own way and you can't pretend that everything that scares you isn't there. That isn't how you deal with things. None of it will go away."

"I know that."

"Then, tell me, _what_ are you waiting for?"

"I… I don't know."

Marie bit her lip. "You know that you're not alone. Right? You know that?"

"I know."

"Then you should know that you can stumble fearlessly into whatever adventure that you choose because I'm going to be there to pull your ass out of the fire."

Sarina laughed suddenly, making Marie smile along with her.

No matter what happened, they had always been there for each other. It was one of those times. Whatever went wrong or whatever went right, they were right next to each other ready to be whatever the other needed.

It would always be that way.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hi everybody! I'm sorry that it has taken this long to get another chapter posted, but considering it is summer, I make random plans. So, I have decided that - to keep pressure off of me and to relieve my schedule a little bit - I will be posting once a week. That will give me plenty of time to write and do other things as well.**_

_**I want to thank all of you that have read, reviewed or followed this story in the past week or so! All of this support never ceases to amaze me.**_

**_(I'm also in mourning, as I just went to see The Fault in Our Stars. If you could drown in tears, I swear I would be dead right now. I left the theater crying into my leftover popcorn and I couldn't bring myself to care that I was making that certain display of emotion in public. I wish they'd stayed truer to the book, but... they captured Augustus just right. Well enough to ruin me all over again. Yay. Days of impending depression. Whoo. {can you hear my sarcasm?} Okay, sorry for the rant. Just... take tissues with you if you go see TFIOS. Or better yet, watch it on DVD at home where you can scream into pillows all you want without the judgement of other human beings.)_**

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

Several hours later, it was time to go meet Loki.

Marie helped Sarina pin up her hair, seeing as how her hands were shaking too much to accomplish the task herself.

"Relax." Marie murmured. "You'll give yourself a panic attack."

"Never… in all my life, has someone been able to affect me like this."

"I know."

"_Why_? Why _him_? Why _now_?" Sarina groaned. "I'm completely unglued and it's driving me crazy!"

"I think your crazy was already established _before_ you met your oh, so lovely psychopathic boyfriend."

"Marie."

Marie shrugged. "I'm just saying."

"Can you say something _helpful_?"

She blinked. "Um… I'm not good with advice… might I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

Sarina sighed heavily. "Really?"

"I'm fresh out of advice! I _bleed_ advice for you. I'm drained dry." She wrapped Sarina's hand around her wrist and made Sarina shake her arm. "Look! I'm like a Magic 8 Ball! _Ask again later_."

"If I shook you again, would there be a different outcome?" Sarina asked dryly.

Marie faked a laugh. "No."

"If I said please?"

Marie put her hands on Sarina's shoulders and spun her around to face the mirror as she finished pinning Sarina's hair in its elaborate up-do.

"It's time to take the training wheels off, kiddo. You're as ready as you're going to be. All I can say is… knock him dead."

"Considering that almost happened, I'd rather not."

"Oh, right." Marie winced. "That was a little too soon."

"Kind of."

"Then… break a leg."

"Is there any uplifting euphemism that you can think of that doesn't involve harming someone or myself?"

"Um… don't assume room temperature?"

Sarina glared at Marie and watched as her friend bit back a laugh.

"I'll try." She muttered.

"That's always good to know. I mean, I value your company so that would be extremely taxing to my emotional health."

"You poor dear." Sarina rolled her eyes and squared her shoulders back. "If I run away from dinner, chances are I'll be at the cabin."

"I'll keep that in mind." Marie told her. "But you won't run away."

"How do you know that?"

"You guys are stuck together. It isn't a choice. The force holding you together is like Gorilla Glue or something. Everything that's happened, everything that's gone wrong, you're both still here. All you have to do is remember that. You are still here and if I know you… you're going to push through this because you aren't finished. You finish things. You always have. No matter how long it takes, you _always_ finish things. And I _do _know you. You will finish this. You will get him back." Marie cleared her throat awkwardly. "Okay, _now_ I'm out of advice. You can quote me on that if you like, but I don't even really know what I just said or where that actually came from, so…"

"Marie."

"What?"

"Thank you."

Marie grinned and shoved Sarina's shoulder. "Shut up and go on. You'll be late for your date."

Sarina smiled and began walking towards the door before calling over her shoulder; "It's not a date!"

"Does he know that?"

The door closed before Sarina could answer, a smile still on her face. She walked down the hall and towards the banquet hall with renewed confidence and growing excitement.

He was waiting for her.

* * *

Marie sat down in Sarina's room with a sigh. Her friend was going off on a date and her night was inching towards being spent reading. Not that she minded… she just wished Steve would call!

As if it had ready her mind, her phone began to ring. She sighed and dug it out of her pocket, glancing at the Caller ID. Her heart leaped in her throat, her eyes widening.

She was going to kill him!

Marie answered the phone, "Hello?" She asked softly.

Steve breathed a soft sigh of relief. "Marie."

"Where are you?"

"On my way back to New York."

"Steve…"

"Yes?"

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH?!" Marie exploded. "I HAD TO PRACTICALLY THREATEN NATASHA TO GET HER TO TELL ME _ANYTHING_!"

"Marie – "

"_STEVEN GRANT ROGERS_, I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR ALL THE GRIEF YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH!"

"_Marie_ – "

"COULD YOU NOT CALL!? JUST TWO SECONDS TO LET ME KNOW YOU WERE FINE!"

"MARIE!"

"_What_!?"

"Give me a _second_ to answer you before you yell, please?"

She sighed deeply, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry."

"No, _I'm_ sorry. I would have called…" Steve sighed. "Let me explain."

"I'm listening." She promised him.

She hoped that she would be able to keep herself from interrupting him while he spoke. Marie was dying to know that everything was alright and that he wasn't hurt, but at the same time she wanted to know exactly what he had been through.

It still wasn't sinking in that his was the voice on the other end of the line. Steve had only just begun the scratch the surface of his first encounter with his used-to-be best friend Bucky turned Winter Soldier when she began to cry.

"Marie?" The worry was evident in his tone. "Marie, please don't cry."

"N-no." Marie said, sniffing heavily. "It's not that. I just… you _are_ talking to me, right? I haven't had a psychotic breakdown or something?"

"No." Steve murmured. "It's really me."

"Convince me." She held back a wave of tears.

"Alright…" Steve paused for a moment, thinking about what he could say to calm her down. "Our first movie together – you took me to see _Frozen. _We ate enough popcorn for it to constitute as our dinner, but still went to eat afterwards. And –"

"Okay." Marie wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I believe you."

"Marie?"

"What?"

"When can you come home?"

This almost pushed Marie into another bout of tears. How was she ever going to explain all of this to Steve? She couldn't go home. Not for a while. How could she make herself say that?

"I…" She swallowed thickly. "…can't."

"You _can't_?"

"No. The Bifrost is closed. Amora took over Asgard. So much has happened… and I've wanted to tell you _everything_. I left messages. I tried to tell you. I'm stuck here. I can't come home until all of this is over."

"_This_? Marie, what do you mean? Are you alright? Are you safe?"

"For now. I'm safe." Marie told him. "But things are going to happen soon that may change all of that. I'm not saying this to make you worry, I just don't want you to be in the dark. I want you to know what's going on. Okay?"

"Tell me."

"Amora, we think, is going to wage war on Alfheim – on Thor and Loki for the throne. She basically already has it, but in order for the people to submit to her rule she has to be the only one left. Does that make sense?"

"You mean that Amora is going to kill Thor and Loki and claim the right to the throne for herself."

"Yes. Technically, she could just go on like this, but Thor is working with Freyr – Sarina's father – to build an army. They're going to try and take back Asgard. That being said, Amora will try and strike first."

"Marie… is there going to be a war?"

Marie closed her eyes. "Yes."

Steve didn't answer for a long time. They sat there, keeping one another company in their shared silence, each of them thinking about what they would do should they lose the other.

Steve was suddenly terrified. He'd lost Peggy and Bucky. He'd lost seventy years of his life, frozen in ice. He'd lost so many things in his life and this would simply be too much.

He couldn't lose Marie.

"You'll be just fine." He said, more to convince himself than anyone. "You'll be absolutely fine. You're strong. You'll…"

"Be fine." Marie finished for him. "I'll call you every day and annoy you to make sure you know that. Okay?"

Steve laughed softly. "Okay."

"I have to go, now. It's almost dinnertime. I'm starved."

"I'll talk to you tonight?"

"I'll call you right after dinner."

"Alright."

"Okay. I lovv-." Marie almost choked. "Vvrrrrooomm, vroom…."

"Marie, why are you imitating a car?"

"You've never… done that? Psh." She scoffed. "It's like… so fun."

"Mmmhmm…" He mused, the smile obvious in his tone. "I'm sure."

"Right-o. Talk to you later Einstein!"

"Bye, Marie."

"Bye."

Marie hung up the phone quickly, her heart pounding. A CAR? _Really_? She couldn't have just said it?

"_Marie_." She groaned aloud, flopping back on her bed. "You stupid _idiot_. You _borderline, brain-dead, moron_!"

As she checked the time on her phone, she sighed. There was still an hour until dinner. Loki and Sarina had the banquet hall all to themselves until then. She wasn't going to crash their date, but she needed _someone _to hang out with to keep her from obsessing.

Marie got up and walked down the hall before knocking on Noelle's door.

"Noelle! Open the door."

Noelle opened the door with a scowl. "Yes?"

Marie clasped her hands under her chin and poked out her bottom lip. "Have pity on a poor gal?"

"I'm reading."

"Great!" Marie enthused. "What are we reading?"

"_We_?"

"Yes, I have used the royal 'we'. So, tell me Princess. What are _we_ reading?"

Noelle smiled, unable to help herself. "Shakespeare."

Marie made a face. "Ew."

"_What_!? Tell me you jest."

"No, Queenie." Marie rolled her eyes. "I do not _jest_. Shakespeare and I… putting it bluntly, are _not_ old friends. I find his writing a tad repetitive and sort of… neurotic."

"I can't even talk to you." Noelle said, shaking her head. "That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard."

"And you've known Thor for how long now? I'm shocked."

"Yes, well, he likes Shakespeare. He isn't completely intolerable."

"Aw," Marie put a hand to her heart, crooning sarcastically. "I'm intolerable?"

"Only sometimes." Noelle told her with a laugh. "Come in, if you must. But please refrain from making commentary about my choice of literature."

Marie snapped her fingers and pointed at her with a crooked grin. "You got it, dude."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Guys, I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to get a chapter posted. I have been subject to a severe case of writer's block and I'm afraid that it's not over. This one chapter took me a week to write because I can't get a single solid idea. I'm saying this to prepare you for longer gaps between chapters. I hope this will be over soon and I'll be back to posting normally again, but I can't promise anything.**_

_**For now, enjoy chapter 12! Review if you'd like. It's always appreciated :D**_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

Loki and Sarina walked out of the palace side by side, having realized that they had to vacate the banquet hall because of how close dinner was for the others. Sarina had been shocked to find that Loki had requested a meal be made for just the two of them, the table complete with a lovely setting – candles and all.

They'd sat there after they had eaten, talking quietly across from each other like old friends. In a way, they were.

The sun was going down and the last light of evening was fading from the sky as they walked away from the palace and out towards the forest.

"Tell me a little of yourself." Loki requested kindly. "Not more of hobbies and pastimes, but… the real you."

"The real me?" Sarina laughed, hiding her discomfort. "Oh, dear. I'm afraid you would not like what I had to say."

"Please. There's nothing you could tell me that would make me think less of you."

Sarina raised an eyebrow, finding the perfect opportunity to make him squirm. "You sound as if you are already assuming that what I have to say is something terrible."

"No, no!" He shook his head vigorously. "I'm only saying that I will not judge you – no matter what you have to say."

"Alright." She smiled at him. "What do you want to know?"

"Start with your family."

"My- my family?" Sarina blinked. "What of them?"

"Tell me of them. How you were brought up. This place… it must have been wonderful."

"Well, I… actually wasn't raised here." She admitted softly. "I never knew my family until the spring. I met them then."

"_This_ spring?"

"Yes."

"But…" Loki's eyes widened in recognition. "You're the lost child. I _remember_ you. I heard…"

"Yes. So, I'm afraid I cannot tell you all you want to know because I don't know it, either. My father is a stranger, my sister only a friend, and my mother is a series of related stories that I am only just hearing of. I am a houseguest in my… well, what should have been my home."

Loki pulled her gently to a stop. "Why haven't you told me?"

"It never came up."

"Sarina."

"I don't see why it matters." She replied. "You hardly know me. You've said it yourself."

"Weeks ago." Loki sighed. "Now… Sarina, I want to know you. That's why I ask all of these questions. Not to make you uncomfortable."

Her mouth all but fell open. "How could you tell?"

A smile played around his lips. "Your eyebrows crinkle when you are in a state of upset."

"They do not!" Sarina cried indignantly, her hand flying to her eyebrows.

All this did, instead of convince him, was make Loki laugh. The longer he laughed, the more Sarina fought her own laughter down.

"It's not funny." She said.

"No," Loki cleared his throat, smirking. "Not at all."

"Anyway." Sarina began to steer the conversation away from her subconscious eyebrow crinkling. "Back to the questions. Have you any more for me?"

"You'll tell me more in your own time, I'm sure."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe I like being mysterious." Sarina said this with an air of teasing, but Loki saw through it.

"I don't believe it. Not for a minute. Everyone needs a witness to their lives. People only take to being mysterious when the world makes it seem like no one cares."

"And how do you know?" Sarina asked him softly, but not unkindly.

"I don't know what over, but… I can remember that feeling. And I'm sorry that you experienced it. It isn't a pleasant emotion."

"No… no, it isn't." Sarina agreed.

She knew that she should steer the conversation toward something lighter. Something that wouldn't make either of them disconsolate. But she couldn't bring herself to backtrack in the conversation and lose what progress had been made. He was speaking to her as he once had and Sarina was quickly becoming addicted to the familiarity that was growing between them once more.

She had missed this very much.

"Your turn." She said. "Tell me. What skeletons does the Prince of Asgard have hiding in his closets?"

Loki looked alarmed. "_What_?"

Sarina put a hand to her mouth, trying desperately not to laugh. "No! No, no. It's an expression. I didn't mean… _no_. I was asking you if you had any secrets. Something that you'd never tell anyone."

He glanced over at her with a small smile. "And what makes you think that I would tell you?"

"Well… I'm not just anyone." Sarina reminded him. "I'm your friend."

"Oh, uh, yes. Right. Friends." Loki agreed awkwardly. Why was he reacting this way? Of course they were friends. It just sounded so strange to hear her… it was… he didn't know how to describe it.

"So, tell me something." She urged him, bumping his shoulder with hers.

"What would you like to know?"

"Growing up with Thor. That can't have been easy." Sarina laughed softly. "He's such a diva."

"It was a challenge, indeed." Loki agreed softly.

Sarina listened as he went on, telling her stories about the adventures he went on with his brother when they had been very close. About all of the things that led up to their dissention. And then, he stopped. His memories from then on were a blur. Sarina tried to wait patiently for him to continue if he could, but it was growing _very_ cold out and it was getting late.

A chill rushed through the air and she shivered, unable to keep from it.

"You're cold!" He exclaimed. "How insensitive of me. I had forgotten. Let me take you back."

"Are you not?" She asked. "Cold, I mean."

Now that he thought about it, he realized that he had forgotten that it was even cold outside. It was strange. Almost as if he couldn't feel it…

"No…" He mused. "No, I daresay I am not."


	13. Chapter 13

**_Thank you all so much for your patience! I apologize for this taking me so long. And I also wanted to let everyone know that I am currently corresponding with Lady Gisborne 15 in an attempt to begin a collaboration account. _**

**_If you like OUAT, we will be beginning a Rumbelle fanfiction soon. I don't know when everything will be ready to be posted as we are both very busy and have yet to piece together a storyline. However, as soon as we make the account, I will let you all know so that you can check it out if you are interested. _**

**_She and I have already discussed doing an Avengers fanfiction as well as one for OUAT and I hope there are many more stories to come. I'm so honored to be working with her, as she is one of my favorite authors, biggest supporters, and greatest friends. _**

**_I hope _****_you all enjoy chapter 13!_**

**_-lightinside_**

* * *

_Nothing was right. It was all spiraling out of control. His mind was reeling at a million miles an hour and no matter what he tried, he couldn't banish the thought that maybe, every sign he'd seen had been the truth. Maybe everything was a lie. He thought back to what had happened on Jotunheim… how he'd turned… but he couldn't be._

_Loki approached the Casket slowly, fighting back dread. This would be the moment when things changed forever. He knew that much. When he reached it, Loki took it in his hands hesitantly and raised it off of its platform._

_ "Stop!"_

_ He didn't turn around. "Am I cursed?"_

_ "No."_

_ Loki put down the object with a soft thud that echoed in the treasury. "What am I?"_

_ "You're my son."_

_ He turned around, the foreign blue of his skin fading away as he faced Odin. "What more than that?" He began to_ _walk towards the Allfather. "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from the Jotunheim that day, was it?"_

_Odin did not answer right away. As Loki reached the base of the long staircase leading up and away from the treasury, he spoke._

_ "No. In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small, for a giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."_

_ Loki could hardly speak the words. "Laufey's son…"_

_ "Yes."_

_ Panic began to bubble within him, the weight of all of Odin's lies finally settling over him like a crushing wave. His eyes searched Odin's urgently. "Why? You were knee deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?"_

_ "You were an innocent child."_

_ "No, you took me for a purpose." Loki said, breathing heavily now, "What was it?"_

_Odin stood there, trying to find the words as his son's searching and devastated eyes watched him. No sound escaped him. The more silence that ensued, the more Loki feared what would follow._

_Lies, lies, lies…_

_He felt like he couldn't breathe._

_ "TELL ME!"_

_ "I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance to bring about a permanent peace… through you."_

_ His eyes were now filling with tears. "What?"_

_ "But those plans no longer matter."_

_ Betrayal was written all over Loki's face. "So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me."_

_ Odin sighed, "Why do you twist my words?"_

_ "You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?"_

_ "You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth."_

_Loki couldn't get enough air. The tears were coming now, there was no stopping them._

_ "What, because I – I – I am the monster who parents tell their children about at night?"_

_ "No…"_

_ "It all makes sense now. Why you favor Thor." His voice was rising now, anger building within him, "All these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"_

_••_

Loki leapt out of his sleep in a cold sweat. He sat up, unable to catch his breath. The room was dark and unbeknownst to him, it was freezing. The fear clawing at his throat inhibited all movement and he sat there, stunned.

The dream couldn't be real. _Surely_. But it had seemed… almost like a memory. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it must have been.

With a soft scoff at his own foolishness, Loki climbed out of bed and grabbed his robe, slipping it on before walking out on the balcony.

As he looked over the courtyards leading to the forest, he saw in the moonlight a slender figure leading Sleipnir towards the trees. The figure stopped and mounted the horse with a surprising agile motion for this time of night and rode off. Long, dark hair billowed out behind the figure as they rode away and Loki knew of only one person with hair like that.

Sarina.

He knew that she could only have been heading to the cabin where she'd taken him before. So… there was only one decision left to be made.

Should he sit here in the dark, in silence, all alone… or should he go after her?

* * *

Sarina couldn't sleep. The only thing to do, to keep her from succumbing to the temptation of spending the early morning hours brooding, was ride. She didn't dare look up at Loki's window as she disappeared into the trees. She could feel that he was awake. She could feel him watching her. And still, Sarina couldn't bring herself to look back.

She felt like if she stopped moving for even a second, that everything would catch up to her all at once. She wished everything would just stop. She wished that the past would stop haunting her and that her memories would stop hurting her heart. But, as she'd learned all too well… "the world is not a wish granting factory."

But that didn't stop her from wanting the things that were still so far out of her reach. She supposed that everyone went through that. Wanting. It was funny, though.

Sarina would be just fine - her mind would be occupied and high up in the clouds, dreaming of something other than him… and then she would hear his voice and look up to see those same emerald green eyes staring at her in that same way as before.

She would forget for a moment that he wasn't hers. That she couldn't walk up to him and kiss him whenever she wanted. That she couldn't hold his hand or feel his arms around her while they laid in the meadows beyond the palace in Asgard, looking up at the clouds. That she wouldn't be able to live her life by his side as she'd dreamed. That she was back to square one.

And then, Loki would say something and Sarina would remember and some small part of her would die all over again.

The sound of Sleipnir's hooves against the forest floor matched the pounding of her heart as they raced along through the trees. Sarina was so grateful to be able to breathe in the cold air.

Air that wasn't dominated by his presence.

It took everything she had most of the time to keep herself from telling him the truth. Well… she wasn't lying exactly, but she was keeping so much from him that would make him understand what was happening. He had to be wondering by now why no one had made mention of going home to Asgard any time soon.

She knew that she would have been. She knew that anyone would have been asking questions by now. So, why wasn't he? Unless… unless subconsciously he knew already.

No. No, that was ridiculous. That was insane. Sarina shook her head and chided herself silently for having such a thought. Things were bad enough without her deluding herself into having irrational hopes.

"Sarina?"

Sarina yanked back on Sleipnir's reigns, startled. The sound had come from the trees. Her eyes searched the dark and found, to her surprise, Clint Barton sitting on a branch as lazily as one might lounge on a sofa.

"Clint? What on earth are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She bit her lip. "Couldn't sleep."

"Same."

"And why are you in a tree?"

"I felt like it?"

Sarina smiled gently. "Good enough for me." She fell silent again, her thoughts steering her brain back in Loki's direction. Clint watched her for a moment, wondering what could be troubling her. He decided to speak up.

"Penny for your thoughts."

She winced. "I'm not sure you know what you're bargaining for."

In one smooth motion, Clint swung down from the branch he was sitting on and dropped to the ground, holding up a hand to help Sarina off of Sleipnir.

"C'mon. Walk back with me."

She took his hand and let him help her down to the ground. Sarina took hold of the loose reigns and led the horse along beside her as she and Clint walked slowly back in the direction of the palace. She didn't want to go back, but she needed to talk and Clint was one person she knew wouldn't advertise their conversation to the others. So, she went along with him.

"You never told me why you came out here." Clint reminded her softly. "Is it because of him?"

Sarina bit her lip, knowing exactly which 'him' that Clint was referring to.

"Yes." She said. "I was suddenly…"

"Suffocating."

Surprise washed through her as she looked over at him. He had voiced the exact word she had been about to. "Exactly." Sarina murmured. "How did you know?"

"Alfheim and Asgard are great places. Don't get me wrong. But at the end of the day, they aren't home. Being stuck here so far away… it gets to you after a while."

"I'm sorry."

"No." Clint shook his head. "Don't be. If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing. You're my friend. If I could help you now, I would."

"I know you would. But this time, I'm on my own."

"Even though that _is_ technically true, you have to remember that you aren't alone. Marie and Noelle and Natasha and I are all here for you. Thor, too. Even the guys back home. I know they're all wishing they were here, too."

"I wish they were here. I'm so worried for them all. I never expected this. Not Amora. Not Hydra. None of it. It's all so surreal sometimes. Like any second, I'll wake up from this horrible dream and be back on Asgard, smiling because I know that I get the whole day with Loki." She sighed softly. "I miss that."

"I understand." Clint said. "But if you ask me… you're heading down that road again. It won't be long before he has fallen in love with you all over again. I can already see it."

Sarina's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Of course." Clint assured her. "All you have to do is to keep being yourself. That's the person he fell in love with in the first place, right?"

"You're right." She said. "I need to get a grip. I have a feeling if I stress over this any more than I already have, I'll go bald."

Clint laughed. "I would disagree..."

Sarina shook her head with a small smile as she heard the unspoken 'but' in his statement and looked ahead to find that they were already on the edge of the forest where she'd come from.

"Will you do me a favor?" She asked suddenly, turning to Clint.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Take Sleipnir back to the stables for me."

The horse snorted, put out with Sarina for handing him off to Clint like a wet blanket. She pursed her lips and scowled in the moonlight.

"You hush. I'm going to see Loki."

Sleipnir didn't protest anymore and Clint laughed at their antics as he realized what he had just witnessed.

"You talk to him?"

"Sort of... I understand his moods now. He's my constant companion." Sarina reached over and stroked the horse's muzzle and he, in turn, bumped his nose into her palm in agreement.

When their goodbyes were said and Clint and Sleipnir were out of sight, Sarina trudged back towards the castle. It was beginning to snow, the cold air stinging her throat relentlessly with each breath she took.

In the moments that stretched on while she made her way to the castle, her thoughts began to take over.

Sarina couldn't escape it. Everywhere she went, her mind was dominated by Loki. Her heart cried out for him incessantly and she was tired of fighting it. She was tired of it all. Nothing was right without him and she didn't know why in the hell she was still trying to make it on her own.

She could've made it on her own before. She did. Sarina had learned to be content with her own company, but now... She had loved and lost and nothing was the same. She needed him like she had never needed anything before and it killed her. But she was addicted to the pain.

When everything was upside down, Loki was the one thing that was right. Whether he knew it or not. That was the simple truth.

And damn whatever came after that. Damn Amora and damn the war. She needed him.

That was all it took to make her realize where she was going.

To confront him.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Thank you all so much for your reviews! You guys are always so supportive and it really means so much to me. It is truly the highlight of my week when I post and get your lovely feedback. Thank you for that!_**

**_Lady Gisborne 15 and I have set up an account and are currently planning out a storyline for a Rumbelle fanfic, but if you would like you can go check out our page and follow us. The account is: BeautyWithinTheBeasts_**

**_We hope you guys will check it out! _**

**_I hope you guys enjoy chapter 14! _**

**_-lightinside_**

* * *

Sarina rushed down the entry hall with an urgency she hadn't felt in a long time. She had to get to him. She had to talk to him.

When she was almost to the stairs, she heard someone call out for her.

"Sarina!"

She bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from cursing as loud as possible. If it had been Loki, she might have run to him. But it was one of the people she hadn't wanted to see. At least not now.

Her father.

"Father?" She turned to see him walking quickly towards her. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing. I just... I have been thinking, Sarina. About you. About your safety. And I have been worrying constantly... I need to ask you something."

Her brows furrowed at the sincerity in his voice. "Ask." She said, her curiosity winning out.

"The war is coming. There is no need in lulling everyone into a false sense of security. With that being said, it has come to my attention that you have no way of defending yourself. And it has _also_ come to my attention that you have more power than you yourself know."

"Who told you these things?"

"Your sister."

"Why would she think such a thing? It is true that I know of no way to defend myself..." Sarina blushed at her own uselessness, but kept on speaking. "But I'm nothing special. I have no power."

"She thought you might say that. Sarina... You've been distraught lately, yes?"

"Yes." She murmured quietly. "Though I fail to see what relevance that has to this conversation."

"Sarina, Alfheim has only one season. Spring. When you came, Winter began to descend over the realm. Bitter winds. Numbing cold. There was only one other time I knew of this happening and it was when I caused it myself when Dianna..." Freyr swallowed thickly. "You hold sway over the realms, my dear. They bend to your will. Noelle also spoke of that day in the town square when you saw -"

"Yes." Sarina couldn't keep herself from interrupting. It was much too painful to recount. She remembered how Sigyn took Loki's hand.

How they looked together...

How rain fell just for her...

Her thoughts startled her. "I made it rain. I don't know how... But I made it rain."

"The sky feels your pain. As would the sea, if you were near. And the earth, as it does now. Sarina, if you learned to harness that power, there is no limit to the results you would reap from it. "

"And you say this now because...?"

"I want to be the one to teach you how to use your gift."

Sarina stared at him for a moment. "Really?"

Freyr smiled. "Of course. I do not mean to give you the impression that it will be easy... In fact, you may want to give up at some point. All that I ask is that when that time comes, you push it aside and keep going. This will keep you safe. That is all I want for you. To be safe and, when the time comes, to be happy."

"Thank you."

He only nodded. "We start tomorrow."

"But-"

"Go back to your chambers and rest. I will have Noelle bring you down to the training yard in the morning."

Sarina felt like a scolded child being sent to bed after being discovered sitting up under her covers reading with a flashlight. Even in her adoptive family, they had never _ordered_ her to do things. She had always obeyed. Well... mostly.

So if she didn't listen just this once...

No. No, she couldn't. He had been absent all of her life and if there was something she could do to put his mind at ease, she would. Loki would have to wait.

Damn it.

"Alright." She conceded. "Until tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Sarina."

"Goodnight."

* * *

The morning came all too swiftly for Sarina's liking. A pounding came from her door and she knew that it was Noelle, carrying out Freyr's request. She groaned and pulled her pillow over her face.

She had tried to sleep, but with her mind still consumed by Loki, she hadn't been able to close her eyes until what she guessed to be around five in the morning. Now, it was barely eight. She had gotten three hours of sleep.

This was bound to be interesting.

Noelle quit knocking and decided to go ahead and barge in, much to Sarina's dismay. When she saw Sarina pretending to be asleep, she sighed heavily.

"I know you're awake, sister. No normal person could stay asleep through that."

"Watch me." Sarina grumbled.

Noelle put her hands on her hips, some of the severity stolen away from her actions by the soft, frilly sky blue gown she wore. If Sarina had been in a better mood, she might've laughed.

"Sarina, do you want to keep Father waiting?"

_Ohhh, so she was going to play that way, huh?_

Then, rationality kicked in and Sarina realized that this was a sacrifice on her Father's part - giving up some of his day to help her this way. She bit her lip to keep from groaning theatrically and rolled out of bed.

As Sarina made her way to the wardrobe, Noelle shook her head.

"No, no." She said. "Nothing in that wardrobe is suitable for the activities you have planned."

Sarina scowled. "What would you have me show up in? Pantaloons?"

Noelle raised an eyebrow. "If you don't stop being so sour, I might."

"Fine. Sorry." Sarina sighed, running a tired hand through her tangled hair. "What did you have in mind?"

A slight, amused smile played across Noelle's lips. "This." She motioned to the door and there stood Marie and Thor, carrying armor that could be a replica of Sif's.

Sarina winced. She'd always thought that if Sif had a wider range of emotions, or if she would _admit_ that she had a wider range of emotions, that she might have looked uncomfortable in her armor. Considering the fact that she lived to fight, though, Sarina suddenly doubted it.

"That?"

Marie grinned at Sarina's discomfort. "This day..." Marie sighed happily. "I will love it forever."

* * *

Half an hour later, after quite a bit of cursing and swearing never to speak to each other again if one of them should step on one more toe, Sarina was finally in her armor.

"You know, you don't look half bad." Marie mused, arms crossed thoughtfully.

"Well, great! Then we can certainly excuse the fact that I can barely move." Sarina shot back grumpily. "Why do I need this anyway? I thought I was learning magic. Not hand-to-hand combat."

"About that..." Thor chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"What didn't you tell me?" Sarina demanded, turning around to stare at her sister accusingly.

When Noelle didn't answer right away, Marie cleared her throat. "Let me explain you a thing..."

"_I'll_ be teaching you hand-to-hand combat."

Sarina turned around to see Natasha leaning in the doorway, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The image of wrapping her hands around Natasha's slender neck flashed through Sarina's mind, and as tempting as it was...

Sarina clenched her hands into fists and pushed the thought from her mind.

"No one mentioned that to me last night."

"It was only just decided this morning. Your father saw me in the training yard and asked that I assist."

"_Joy_." Sarina muttered. "Let's go."

The group left the room, cringing at the thought of Sarina and Natasha spending the _entire_ morning together. The two women hadn't been in the same room for more than half an hour since the truth had been revealed about Steve and Hydra.

No one spoke the entire way to the training yard. When they came into sight, Freyr knew that something was off.

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, Father." Noelle assured him smoothly. "Would you like us to stay? Or would you rather that I take Marie and Thor and go?"

"It might be best if you were to leave. Sarina must concentrate. I don't want any more distractions than necessary."

Noelle nodded and looked back at Marie and Thor, motioning for them to start walking.

"We'll be back later." Marie promised, catching Sarina's disappointed gaze. Before they left the training yard, Marie broke away from her group, walked to Sarina's side and leaned over to her ear. "Do me a favor, okay? Do everything she tells you. Learn how to fight. And then kick her ass."

Sarina couldn't help the devious grin that sprang to her lips as Marie practically skipped away from her and back into the palace with Thor and Noelle. Sarina had expected to feel abandoned, but to her own surprise, she actually felt... almost thrilled.

She would be able to defend herself at the end of her training. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but each day she would learn something new... and get to use it against Natasha as practice.

This wouldn't be nearly as bad as she thought.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hi**__**guys! A thank you goes out to everyone who reviewed! And I also wanted to say again:**_

_**Lady Gisborne 15 and I have opened our account and are putting together a story. It won't be posted right away, as we both are very busy, but it should be within the next month or so. Maybe sooner. If you haven't read any of Lady Gisborne 15's stories, I highly recommend that you do so. She is **__**wonderful**__**! If you love Once Upon A Time or BBC's Robin Hood, then she's the gal for you! I hope you all will follow us! **_

_**The account is: BeautyWithinTheBeasts**_

_**I look forward to working with her and I hope that you all enjoy our work! Thank you!**_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

Sarina hit the ground with a gasp, her vision swimming with the impact. Anger boiled like poison in her blood as Natasha's face came into view.

"Again." She said.

Sarina glared at her and struggled to sit up into a sitting position, her ribs screaming. "Does the term cruel and unusual punishment mean _anything_ to you?"

For a split second, Sarina could have sworn she saw Natasha smile, apparently amused in her own twisted way. That was all the fuel she needed. Sarina got to her aching feet and faced her opponent for yet another time. They had been here for hours and Sarina was not improving.

Marie had requested that she kick Natasha's ass. Well, here they were and Sarina was the one getting her ass _kicked_. She hadn't expected to have one day of training and go out and be the fourth member of _Charlie's Angels_ or anything, but she certainly hadn't expected to _suck_.

It wasn't making her too optimistic.

"Your feet need to be further apart." Natasha instructed her. "I'm knocking you flat to the ground with no problem, Sarina. Adapt."

_Adapt._

Sarina swallowed and took a deep breath. Slowly, she took her fighting stance, her eyes trained on Natasha.

_Adapt_.

Another deep breath, and her heart started to slow. Instead of dread, she felt nearly calm. And to her own suprise, she was relaxed without being unguarded.

_Adapt_.

"Are you ready?" Natasha asked her.

Sarina shook her head, knowing that if she said yes, then she was a fool. She was never prepared for what lay ahead. No one was, especially in battle. You took what came at you the moment it happened. You fought to stay alive. No one had the luxury of knowing the opposing army's battle plan.

This was just the same.

Right now, Natasha was the enemy and Sarina was just another warrior.

"Clear your mind." Natasha said, making a slow circle around Sarina as she spoke. "Don't think. Don't try to anticipate my movements. Act."

In a split second, Natasha swept her leg under Sarina and she crumpled to the ground. This time, however, instead of staying down she leapt back up and faced Natasha.

Never turn your back on your enemy.

Natasha lunged forward and Sarina dodged her with ease, grabbing the redhead's arm and sweeping her leg under Natasha's feet in an attempt to copy her movements from seconds before. This time, the assassin fell and Sarina was at an advantage.

_Don't let it go to your head._

Sarina didn't release Natasha's arm, instead, she twisted it behind her opponent's back and bore down, slamming her knee into Natasha's back.

The adrenaline rush subsided and Sarina realized that she had come out on top. She had defended herself.

Sarina released Natasha and hopped to her feet, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel weak and powerless. She actually felt power_ful._

Natasha got to her feet, seemingly unfazed by Sarina's attack.

"Now, what could you have done better?"

"Broken your arm." Sarina replied dryly.

Natasha crossed her arms with a smirk. "If I had been your enemy, yes. If you don't kill them right away, inhibit them so that you can focus on your surroundings. Never allow yourself to feel safe. The moment you do is the moment you lose your life."

"Understood." Sarina said. "So, can I knock you down again, or what?"

Natasha just laughed. "Not today. Your father has you from now until this afternoon. Tomorrow morning, though, you can certainly try."

"Am I allowed to...? I don't know... eat?"

"You just want to see him."

Sarina scoffed, still very unconvincing. "What? _No. _I just... I'm hungry. If Loki _happens_ to be in the banquet hall..." She shrugged. "Then, okay."

"You're a terrible liar."

Sarina frowned. "So I've heard."

"Well, even so. Go ahead." Natasha motioned toward the palace. "But meet your father here in an hour. I'll make up some excuse for you."

Sarina was surprised enough that she felt grateful… for all of about five seconds.

"Thank you…?"

Natasha sighed. "Relax, Sarina. I don't have any other motives. You're in love. I get it. I might think that you're hopelessly pathetic, but I get it."

A frown tugged at the corners of Sarina's lips, but she didn't disagree. The problem was that she was acutely aware of just _how _pathetic she was where Loki was concerned. She just didn't like Natasha reminding her of it.

And the question still remained: Was it true?

Did Natasha really have no ulterior motives? It seemed highly suspect – all of it. Then again, Sarina supposed that she didn't trust Natasha for the same reason she didn't like dogs. Once bitten, always wary.

Natasha had betrayed her once, all of them, and now she was forever doomed to overanalyze _everything_ Natasha did.

Pathetic, yes.

Foolish, no.

Trust was something that had to be earned and for the time being, Natasha was still in the process of earning it back. Not just from Sarina, but from everyone.

The exception to the rule, of course, was Clint. He was always on Natasha's side, no matter what. Sarina suspected that even if Natasha happened to end up being the reincarnation of Hannibal, that Clint would still love her.

"Maybe we agree on something, after all." Sarina said.

"What would that be?"

A sly smile turned the corners of Sarina's mouth skyward. "I think you're hopelessly pathetic, too."

With that, she turned and walked back into the palace. She would let Natasha think about that for a few hours. It would do her some good.

For now, Sarina had her own problems to deal with. She had been thrilled by the prospect of seeing Loki several minutes ago. Now, she was just _sick_. She didn't know why that was still happening. She should be used to being around him by now, but the events of their last walk together had her frazzled even days later.

She remembered asking him if he was cold – a stupid thing to do, now that she was thinking about it – and the look in his eye when he had realized he wasn't. Since then, he hadn't approached her. In fact, it was almost like he was avoiding her.

Maybe she was overthinking it.

That was probably all it was. He was probably busy. But with _what_? They were on Alfheim. They were _guests_. Freyr wouldn't let any of them lift a finger to help do anything.

Sarina wished with all of her heart that there was some explanation as to why Loki was acting… well, a little more strange than normal other than the one option that she was now choosing to ignore, seeing as how it nearly terrified her.

He was remembering.

Granted, it was a gradual process, but… he would remember the earliest things first. Thor had explained that to her long ago. If Loki _ever_ remembered, he would remember recent events at the very end. That wasn't exactly what bothered her. What bothered her was that the very first thing he would remember was that he was, in fact, Jotun.

And from his behavior, she suspected that it may have already been happening.

Sarina was pulled from her thoughts abruptly as an arm swung across her shoulders. She flinched before she realized that it was Fandral.

"Sarina! I'm glad I ran into you. I need your advice."

"Fandral, I'm actually –"

"Great!" He pulled her over to the wall and released her. "I'm panicking."

"What?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What did Fandral have to panic about? "Why?"

"It's Sif."

"What about her?"

Fandral started to fidget, a blush slowly burning its way across his cheeks. With a start, Sarina realized why he was acting so strange.

"Oh my God, she _kissed_ you!"

"Not so loud!" Fandral snapped. "I don't want _everyone_ knowing."

Sarina smirked. "And you came to me because…?"

He groaned and brought his hands up to his face. "I didn't know what to do! I know I'm a flirt. I _know_ it. But with her… I'm different. And I thought that we were just great friends, you know. And then she…"

"Kissed you."

"Stop saying it!" He growled, soliciting a small giggle from Sarina. His eyes flicked up to hers, less than amused.

"Sorry." She pressed her lips together. "It's not funny."

"What do I do? I just…" He waved his hands around for a moment, at a loss for words.

"Don't tell me you left her."

"I didn't know what to do!" Fandral cried. "I told her that I would be right back and I just…" He spluttered.

"You left." Sarina sighed.

"You make me sound like a total arse."

She scowled. "Aren't you?"

When Fandral looked up at her again, she immediately regretted her words. He looked so lost, so _helpless_. He was truly floundering.

"I'm sorry." Sarina bit her lip. "That was uncalled for. So… what do you want me to do?"

"Tell me what to do! I'm no good with the… relationship stuff."

"You go back, say you're sorry, and kiss her." Sarina shrugged. "That's about all you can do with the stunt you just pulled. Let her meet you halfway. _If_ this is something that you want…?"

Fandral nodded enthusiastically. "I really do. I didn't even realized I liked her until… well, now, actually."

"Men." Sarina muttered and then shook her head. "Just, do what I told you and then tonight at dinner, tell me what happened. Okay?"

"Thank you!" Fandral kissed her swiftly on the cheek and took off at a lively sprint down the corridor and disappeared around the corner.

Sarina laughed to herself and then remembered why she was standing there in the first place. She sighed and walked into the banquet hall for lunch.


	16. Chapter 16

_**You guys would not believe the day I'm having and it's not even lunch time. Ugh. Anyway, I thought I would go ahead and post since I got so much done last night. I'm so random with my updating schedule, I know. Thank you all for being so patient with me! It really helps!**_

_**And thank you to those of you who reviewed on the last chapter! **_

_**I hope you enjoy chapter 16!**_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

An hour and a half later, with no Loki in sight, Sarina left the banquet hall in a worse mood than she'd been in that morning. Her suspicions about his avoiding her were growing stronger by the hour and she wondered if he was in his room, brooding, or if he was out for the day.

He'd been doing that recently – going out amongst the townspeople. That was a shock, seeing as how Loki rarely ever left the palace. But there he'd gone, renewed and aglow at the prospect of having an entire day for his own leisure.

Sarina decided that she would go up to his room and see if he was there. She had to talk to him. She'd been in a tizzy since the night before, thinking about nothing but him. It was maddening. She wanted control over her emotions again.

But, that wasn't bound to happen anytime soon. Sarina was a magnet for misery and she knew it. She'd gone through every mishap under the sun and it kept getting worse all the time. And now, when she wanted them most, her friends weren't here to make her feel better about any of it.

Thinking about it in a more specific way, Sarina realized that she just wanted _Tony_. He always had a way of making her feel better about the worst of things.

Now that Hydra had been dealt with, Sarina found herself wondering if he was alright. Neither he nor Pepper had called since she'd gone away. That was unlike them both.

Tony used to call Sarina every night around three in the morning about things he'd seen on the shopping network. It was usually something trivial. Something he would gladly make fun of. But then, he and Pepper hadn't been getting along perfectly like they had been as of late, and Sarina figured that Tony just needed to talk without really talking.

She knew how that felt. Sometimes, it had felt like she was the only one that knew it. And even though in her mind she knew it wasn't true, her heart told a different story entirely. It ached constantly and sometimes it felt so heavy that she wanted to rip it from her chest, throw it away from her, and be done with it forever.

Then she'd found Loki… and it seemed like everything that had happened to her before didn't matter so much. The heartache went away and in its place had grown a love so strong and all-consuming that she had almost forgotten what it felt like to be broken in the first place. Even now, even though she hurt, she wouldn't have changed a second. And when she hurt, it was in a new way. A strange way. Sarina had begun to reason with herself in this way:

_If this is what it feels like to love him… I never want it to end._

The pain reminded her that it was all real. That he _had_ loved her once. And she hoped with all her heart that he would love her again. Even if he didn't… Sarina knew that she had experienced a kind of love that most people search a lifetime for. She had been lucky.

And she knew that no matter what, she would love him forever.

Sarina took a deep breath and turned down the hallway that lead to Loki's room, her heart pounding against her ribs with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. What if he wasn't there?

She lifted her hand and knocked on the heavy wooden door.

"Coming!"

Sarina released a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding and smiled as she waiting for him to answer the door. If he was answering, that meant he was okay.

The door swung open and Loki's face broke out into a broad grin.

"Sarina!"

"Hi." She said softly. "Um, you weren't at lunch… so, I thought I would come up and check on you. Make sure you were alright."

"Yes, yes." He nodded. "I'm perfectly fine."

They stood there for another minute, Sarina awkwardly nodding her head for a little longer than necessary.

"That's good, then." She said.

Loki nodded and then seemed to remember himself. "Come in! Please."

"No, really. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I have…" Sarina cleared her throat to take his attention away from the blush that was creeping across her cheeks. "I have a prior engagement in the training yard."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"My father is going to teach me how to use magic." A nervous laugh tore its way from her lips. "I'm… I don't know how I feel about it yet. I spent my morning getting kicked around in hand-to-hand combat by Natasha, so I'm not too keen on having history repeat itself."

He fought back a smile. "I could help, you know. In both magic and combat. My mother taught me both when I was still quite young."

"That would be wonderful!" She agreed, trying to skim over his comment about Frigga. "If you were willing, of course. I would love to show up to training feeling like I knew something. I'm 126 pounds of fair skin and fragile bone. Until now, sarcasm has been my only defense."

Loki laughed loudly, unable to keep from it, and saw how she smiled at the sound. "Well, then." He said. "I suppose we should remedy that as quickly as possible."

"I would appreciate it." Sarina admitted.

"Sarina!"

Both Sarina and Loki turned at the sound of her name. Sarina, in response and Loki, out of curiosity.

Marie stood there, hands on her hips.

"I've been looking everywhere for you. Do you not know what time it is?"

"By your tone, I'm guessing it's past time for me to be in the training yard?"

"Come on!" Marie ushered her. "Before it's too late for me to make up something that excuses you from whatever punishment Natasha has in store for you."

"You mean lie?"

"No, I mean recline in a horizontal position… Yes, I mean _lie_! Hurry up!"

Sarina turned to Loki. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

"By all means." Loki replied gently. "Go. I'll see what I can do about helping you in your training."

"Thank you!"

"I'm waiting!" Marie called.

"COMING!" Sarina yelled back, her patience growing thin. She blushed when she realized how loud she'd been and gave Loki a shy wave. "Okay. Bye!"

Sarina dashed over to Marie who grabbed her arm and hauled her along like a limp ragdoll.

"Ow?" Sarina offered as they made their way down the hall.

"Dude, you're so late." Marie said sympathetically. "And Natasha was going to come and look for you, but I offered so she wouldn't gouge your eyeballs out with her freshly manicured nails."

"I'm only ten minutes late!"

"Have you _looked_ at a clock? Sarina, you're half an hour behind. It's two thirty."

"Oh, _Jesus_." Sarina groaned. "This would happen to me."

"I mean, what were you doing? Playing hide and seek with your shadow?"

"I get it. I'm late. I'm sorry. I was thinking."

"My point being: you are so screwed."

"I kind of figured that out."

"It's not like Natasha will say anything. She'll just wipe the floor with your butt tomorrow morning."

"_I get it_."

"Okay, okay." Marie threw her hands up. "Just, hurry. Like, _run_. I'll be right behind you. But now's the time for you to put what you learned on the Track team in high school to use."

Marie didn't have to say anything else. Sarina put it in high gear and sprinted towards the exit that lead to the training yard. When she reached the area that Natasha should have been waiting, she saw Noelle.

"Father is on his way." Her sister said.

"Marie said that Natasha was waiting for me…?"

"_Was_. She left to go find you a few minutes ago. She wasn't very happy with you for being late."

"I didn't mean to be." Sarina sighed. "I got sidetracked. Next time –"

"There can't be a next time for this. You want to learn how to fight, yes?"

Sarina nodded. "Yes."

"Then you have to focus your mind on _learning_. Allow yourself to be taught. Don't be distracted by a man. When it comes right down to it, if you had to make a choice… Sarina, you _must_ be prepared."

Another blush was creeping its way into Sarina's cheeks. How did they all just _know_? Was it _that_ obvious? She decided to steer the conversation away from Loki. Or, more specifically, her thoughts.

"What about Marie? She doesn't know how to fight."

"She knows some." Noelle assured her. "Much more than you. While Father helps you with your magic, I will be helping Marie with combat. She refused to be taught by Natasha."

No surprise there.

"So, everyone knows how to defend themselves but me." Sarina muttered.

"Not for long. If you show up on time, do what is required of you, and _practice_, you can surpass them all. Of that I am sure. Father said it himself."

"Could I… could I use magic to…"

"To defend yourself, yes. As a last resort. If you aren't careful – if you give it too much power over you – then instead of controlling _it_, it will control _you_. Take you over. Erase who you were. Father saw it happen to one other enchantress –"

"Is that what I am? An enchantress?"

"It is what you will become." Noelle admitted. "When you are strong enough."

"Who did Father see turn?"

"Amora."

"She was…" Sarina was at a loss for words. "I could end up like her?"

"I doubt it. Her motives were already impure. You, sister, have only ever had good intentions toward us all. I know that. But I fear magic and rightly so. I have seen it destroy entire cities, _realms_, just because the wielder's lust for power had grown too great, because they allowed their magic to darken."

"Should I be afraid?"

"When you understand fully what you can do and the kind of damage you are able to inflict, you will _learn_ to be afraid."

Before Sarina could respond, her father came rushing into the training yard. She had been so consumed by her conversation with Noelle that his coming had completely slipped her mind.

"Sarina!" Freyr greeted her. "I apologize for being so late. You must forgive me."

Sarina attempted a small reassuring smile, which came out looking like a grimace. "Of course."

Her father nodded and grew serious. "Now. Shall we begin?"

* * *

On Asgard, the throne room of what once was Odin's great palace was deathly silent. All eyes were on their new Queen. Amora rose slowly from her seat on the golden throne, dangerously calm. Her eyes were fixed on Áki, the only member of the Council left.

"_What_ did you say?"

The old man swallowed, willing himself to keep from trembling before the Enchantress like a small frightened child. "My Queen, the girl, Sigyn has escaped."

Amora's eyes flashed like dark, ominous storm clouds alight with a hatred and an evil that shook everyone present to the core.

"And how did she manage that, councilman?"

"Well… we don't… we don't know, Milady."

"You don't… _know_." She repeated slowly, almost as if she was mocking him. Though, her words seemed twisted. As if she was on the verge of snapping him in two as easily as one would snap a twig.

"No."

Everything shattered.

"You incompetent _fool_!" She screeched. "I should have disposed of you in the beginning when I had the chance!" Amora descended the stairs leading up to the throne and overturned Áki's work table that sat at the bottom of them where he had been working only that morning. "I asked only one thing! To keep the girl in that cell. And what did you do?" The Enchantress was only inches from the councilman now. "You let her slip through your fingers!"

"Majesty…" Áki took a step back, fearing what she would do when she found out the rest.

Amora trembled with anger. When the silence continued on, she began to glare at him.

"Speak!" She ordered.

Áki flinched, but found the strength to finish what he had started. "She has taken Odin's son with her. The one called Baldr."

A thick silence fell about the room like a fog. No one could predict what would happen next. They were all suspended in nothingness, awaiting the Enchantress's response with bated breath. Even the guards had turned their eyes toward the scene stretching on before them.

Amora stood there, frozen before the old councilman, her thoughts racing a million miles an hour, battering away at her murderously. It would be so easy to kill them all…

Before she could decide the councilman's fate, questions began to manifest themselves in the place of her schemes.

How had her prisoners escaped? Surely it did not escape the notice of someone. Someone had to have helped them from their cells and out of Asgard…

It clicked.

There was _one_ person who saw all… who knew of a safe passage out of the realm… who could turn a blind eye.

Amora turned swiftly and ascended the stairs before assuming her seat on the golden throne once more. Audible sighs of relief could be heard from all who had been privy to witness her anger, but the relief was not to last.

"Bring me the Gatekeeper."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Hi everyone! I know I've been absent for yet another week and I apologize. Everything is so hectic around here lately. But, thank you to everyone who reviewed and I hope that you all will enjoy this chapter! I can hardly believe I'm already posting chapter 17. It's all going by so fast. **_

_**I look forward to reading your reviews! **_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

Sarina sat down on the ground, exhausted, as her father loomed above her, chuckling to himself softly.

"Tired already?"

She groaned and allowed herself to lie down completely before closing her eyes. "Leave me here."

Freyr laughed. "Rest, daughter. Tomorrow, we can continue where we left off."

Sarina weakly pumped her fist into the air. "Yaay… tomorrow."

The doors leading to the training yard burst open, startling everyone there. Sarina sat up abruptly, getting slightly dizzy in the process. Freyr, on the other hand, seemed immediately on edge.

"Sire!" One of the guards ran up to Freyr, out of breath. "We came as quickly as we could."

"What is it? What's happened?"

"Sigyn and Baldr, sire. They're here."

Sarina's eyes widened. Without another word, she leapt to her feet and ran in the palace. She had to find Thor. He would know what to do. Sarina ran up the stairs, passing maids and servants (or in other words, narrowly avoiding running them over), knowing that if Loki were to…

She couldn't bear to think of it.

When she reached Thor's room, she pounded on the door.

"THOR!" Sarina pounded on the door again. "_THOR_!"

The door swung open, revealing a very alarmed Thor on the other side. "Sarina, what…?"

"Sigyn and Baldr. They're here." Sarina gasped. "I don't know how…"

Thor stepped out into the hallway and took Sarina by the arms. "Find my brother." He said. "Leave this to me. I will find you when I know more. Whatever you do, keep Loki busy. Do you understand?"

Sarina nodded. "Hurry."

Thor rushed off to meet the new arrivals and Sarina prepared herself for what seemed to be inevitable. Now that Sigyn and Baldr were here… Amora would come after them. Sarina knew that without the two of them, Amora had nothing to bargain with. She would strike much sooner than any of them had anticipated.

And Sarina knew that she wouldn't be alone. She'd heard theories. Rumors and whispers late in the night when the guards thought no one was there to hear.

Amora had as an alliance, the Other and with him came the Dark Elves on Romanos. Svartalfheim had refused to fight, as they had already lost so much as the result of Malekith's blind greed that they were no longer fools. They knew what this war meant. Sarina had yet to find out if Amora had struck a deal with those residing in Jotunheim, but she wouldn't doubt it.

The whole world seemed against them.

But they still had friends. She knew that. If Sigyn and Baldr were here, that meant that Heimdall had let them go. He had helped them find refuge in Alfheim. Though, what that meant for him when the Enchantress discovered his treachery, she didn't know. The thought made her ill.

Sarina made her way toward Loki's room for the second time that day, only to see him walking towards her as she drew closer.

"Sarina, what is going on?"

Her heart began to hammer in her chest. "What do you mean?"

"There is a commotion down in the great hall. Everyone has left to be of some assistance, though to who I don't know. No one will tell me anything."

"I-I-um, I don't know anything either. I haven't… looked." She stammered, and then cleared her throat. "Should we just… sit?"

Loki blinked. "Sit… Sarina is there something you aren't telling me?"

"No! If I knew, I would tell you. I don't know any more than you do." At least that was true. Well, mostly.

They stood there for a moment, silent. When Loki looked over at her again, Sarina automatically began shaking her head in disagreement. That mischievous glint was back.

"No. No way. Loki, _no_."

"What do you mean?" He asked. "I never said anything!"

"You didn't have to. I know that look."

Confusion flitted across his face for a fraction of an instant before he disregarded it and continued on, pleading his case before her. "Sarina, a little peek won't hurt. It must be burning you up inside – not knowing what's going on."

She shook her head. "Nope. Perfectly cool over here. I don't want to know."

"_Sarina_…"

Sarina didn't dare look at him. Those eyes of his were intoxicating. She knew that if she looked, he would be able to make her do anything he wanted. _Almost_ anything. This might be different… but she certainly wasn't going to push her luck.

"_No_." What reason could she give him? She knew that he would eventually ask for one. "Do you know how much trouble we would be in? My father hasn't sent for me and Thor hasn't sent for you. It is either very serious, or very private."

"All the more reason to go."

She sighed heavily. "Loki, please. Please, listen to me. Please, just… _trust_ me."

It was in that moment he knew that Sarina knew much more than she was letting on, but something in her voice gave pause to his accusations. She seemed so tired and so… earnest. She was protecting him from something.

"Alright." He found himself agreeing with her, but he couldn't have explained why. Not to anyone who might have asked at that moment. Not even to himself. All he knew was that he _could_ trust her.

Sarina relaxed almost immediately afterward.

"Thank you."

Loki stood there, wondering for a moment why she cared about him, or seemed to, all that much. They hardly knew each other… or was he wrong? There was so much he didn't remember, but so many things that she did seemed so familiar, so _right_.

And he was still having dreams. Now that he thought about it, the voice he heard most of the time sounded remarkably like Sarina's.

"Sarina…?"

At the sound of so many unasked questions lingering in her name, Sarina looked up at him, a glimmer of hope shining in her golden-brown eyes. "Yes?"

Loki shook his head. "No. Nothing. It was just a thought. Nothing…"

But it had been _something_. He knew that. He felt it. Looking at her, he could feel the clouds that had been drowning out his memories start to shift, but not so much that he could gain any of what he knew had been lost. It was maddening – to be so close and have everything still out of his reach.

How was that so?

Loki had a nagging suspicion that Sarina had been more to him than she would ever say. Perhaps she was being kind… maybe she was trying to save him confusion, but he would rather just _know_. Instead of wondering about her from morning till night, trying to make the connection, he wished that Sarina would remove all of his doubts and tell him the truth.

But something else stopped him from asking her.

If he had loved Sarina… how could he have forgotten her? Even if he only _knew_ her. Yet, there was so much that he did not remember. Sometimes… he thought he might. The faintest whisper of a memory would float through his mind on the outskirts and then be lost.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "You look…" Sarina sighed and shook her head. "Nothing. Ignore me."

Loki didn't say a word. He stared at Sarina, wondering how someone so wonderful could write herself off as easily as she did.

"I could never." He murmured. "I _would_ never ignore you."

Sarina swallowed. The shift in the conversation was obvious and it threw her into a tailspin. What did she say now? What did she _do_?

With a nod, Sarina tore her eyes away from his gaze.

"Well… if you promise to stay out of trouble, I'm going to go find Marie."

_You liar_. _You _pathetic_ liar_.

"Alright."

Sarina rushed off without another word. Loki didn't try to stop her. It seemed to him that this scene had happened before. More than once.

He scoffed, the sound startling him as it echoed through the silent hall. He knew he was being ridiculous. Well..._that_, or he was going mad.

Loki didn't know which he preferred.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Hi guys! Thank you for all the reviews you left me a few days ago for chapter 17! It's really encouraging to me to know how much you all love the story. And I'm not too happy with the way this chapter turned out. If you find it cliché or totally out of nowhere, then I apologize. Just... ugh. But, I hope that it's not as terrible as I think it is. _**

**_Thanks again!_**

**_-lightinside_**

* * *

_Sarina found herself in a field. She didn't know how she'd gotten there. Confused, she looked up towards the sky. Rain drops fell, cascading down her cheeks as if the sky was crying for her. _

_She found herself looking down at the ground. To her surprise, there was no grass, only dark, black soil. Sarina watched, unable to look away, as the soil began to quiver. _

_Roses sprouted from the ground. Dark, crimson roses that burdened her heart and saddened her soul. Mesmerized, Sarina reached out her hand to touch one of the flowers. Her fingers had barely so much as brushed the petals when the roses wilted, shriveling up and shrinking until they had disappeared into the soil once more. _

_A sizzling sound reached her ears and she watched as blood began bubbling upwards, seeping back into the soil and then up again. Over and over… _

_From the blood, stems began to snake towards the sky. Instead of green, they were black and slick, stained by the red substance that still bubbled underneath the soil. The stems stretched on and on, nearly touching the clouds before they bent as if to look down at her. _

_At the ends of them began to grow more flowers. The longer she observed them, the more Sarina could identify the new vegetation. _

_Lilies. _

_Blood red lilies. _

_The petals began to fan out, stretching on around her as if to swallow her… and then all went still. _

_A faceless figure appeared before Sarina, dressed in flowing white robes, spattered with red. _

_A voice filled her mind like a whisper._

**_Those you love shall be lost… _**

**_Your victory won at great cost. _**

**_Your wishes granted, _**

**_But your dreams recanted…_**

**_Never again to bleed, _**

**_Only to drown in attempt to complete your deed. _**

_Sarina clutched at her head as if someone was screaming at her. _

_ "__Stop!" _

_**Warned you have been. **_

**_Beware the trap that yet awaits you in the lion's den. _**

**_Beware…_**

**_Beware…_**

* * *

"Sarina!" Someone was shaking her. "_Sarina_!"

Sarina's eyes snapped open, wild and afraid. She could hardly catch her breath. Had she even been breathing?

Fandral heaved a sigh of relief. "_Nine Realms_," He muttered. "Sarina, you frightened me to death."

"What happened?"

Fandral's eyebrows knit together in concern. "You don't remember speaking with me?"

She shook her head and then began to look around. They were in the courtyard. How had she gotten there?

"I don't… what happened to me?"

"You were telling me about your encounter with Loki and then you… blanked. I tried to speak to you, but it was if you had gone to another universe entirely. You didn't move or speak for _minutes_ and then you screamed at me to stop before you collapsed." He said. "It was unlike anything I had ever witnessed."

_Beware…_

Sarina sat up slowly with the help of Fandral. "I need you to leave me here and go find Thor. In fact, find my father and my sister as well. Tell them all I need them immediately."

"Leave you here?" Fandral shook his head. "No, Sarina. I can't do that."

"_GO!" _She was almost shouting. "Please, do as I said."

Reluctantly, Fandral hurried away. Sarina was shocked at herself. Why had she behaved that way? It wasn't because of what had happened to her. Thinking of it now, it only puzzled her.

What did all of it mean?

The voice… the rhyme. She remembered it all perfectly. It spoke of loss and of victory; of wishes and dreams; of endurance and of failure; and finally of a trap that had been set for her.

Was it all meant _literally_? Surely not. The things Sarina had been through had showed her that nothing was as simple as it ever seemed to be. She needed her father to hear what she had seen. He would know what to do.

At least… she hoped he did.

* * *

"I'm not sure I understand." Noelle said to her sister. "_Red_ lilies?"

"_Yes_." Sarina insisted. "Red lilies."

Noelle turned to their father. "What does it mean?"

Freyr was silent. Without answering Noelle's question, he looked over at Sarina. "Tell me the rhyme again."

Sarina bit her lip. "_Those you love shall be lost… Your victory won at great cost. Your wishes granted, but your dreams recanted… Never again to bleed, only to drown in attempt to complete your deed._" She said. "And then something about a lion's den."

"I don't know what to make of it." He admitted. "There is only one person who I think might be able to discern the true meaning of what you have been told."

"Who?" Sarina asked. "We can go get them immediately."

"My sister. Freyja."

"Wonderful!" Sarina exclaimed. "Then you know where to find her."

Noelle winced. "My aunt… is very complicated."

"How so?"

Freyr's expression was one of forced disinterest as he turned to his daughters, but Sarina knew better. Underneath the disinterest, she could see irritation. This wasn't going to be good. "Freyja has abandoned her duties as a goddess. She's a bit of a…" He cleared his throat. "A free spirit."

"So…?" Sarina trailed off. "What does this mean for me?"

"Freyja, having made the choice to leave her post, has given up her immortality."

"She's _human_?"

Noelle nodded. "_And_, we have no way of reaching her. She resides on Midgard."

Thor, who had been silent throughout their entire conversation, finally decided to speak up. He didn't know if it would work, but he _did_ have a plan… and that was more than the rest of them had at the moment.

"If I may," Thor walked towards the King. "I _do_ know someone else who can offer safe passage from the realms."

Sarina looked up at Thor, confused. "Loki?"

Thor grimaced. "Not exactly."

"Who, then?" Freyr asked. "I thought your brother was the only one who knew of the secret passages."

"She wouldn't own up to it unless we gave her no other choice."

"_She_?"

"The Lady Sif." Thor clarified. "My father had her follow Loki out of Asgard on several occasions. The passages are all interwoven, even here on Alfheim, so that we could easily find our way to Midgard. But only with her help."

"Why have you not mentioned this before?" Sarina questioned him. "You know that I've been worried sick about everyone we left behind."

"I apologize, Sarina, but the situation was not dire enough for me to divulge this information. Now… I'm afraid I have no other choice."

Freyr sighed deeply. "If you can get the Lady Sif to tell you how to reach the passages, then I will send two of my finest after my sister."

Noelle and Sarina exchanged a glance, their eyes glittering mischievously. Perhaps Loki had influenced Sarina in more ways than she knew.

"Father?" Sarina put her hand gently on his arm so that she knew she had his full attention. "I think Noelle and I have two people in mind."

The King's eyes narrowed. "Do tell."

Both girls stood. "Who better than us?"

"No." Freyr said. "Absolutely not. It's out of the question."

"Father, you know as well as I that Freyja will not come if you send two guards to summon her as if she were no better than a commoner." Noelle reasoned with him, trying her best not to sound pushy. She knew that the moment she did, she would be shut down for good. "It would be so much better if you let us go and _explain_ everything to the fullest detail so that she can decide if she will come or not. And while we're there, Sarina can check on her friends. It's very ideal."

"_No_."

Noelle was running out of patience. "Father-"

"You're right." Sarina interrupted her sister. "Absolutely."

Noelle shot her Sarina a look of utter disbelief. Sarina stared back, trying to get her to go along with it.

"Right…" Noelle said slowly. "I apologize, father."

Freyr narrowed his eyes. "Are you feeling alright, both of you?"

"Wonderful!" Sarina promised. "Why?"

"Nothing…" Freyr said. "Sarina, I must go. Thor and I have business to attend to."

She knew without having to ask that it was about Sigyn and Baldr.

"That's fine." Sarina said. "Noelle and I have something to discuss."

Noelle watched her sister quietly. She could practically see the gears turning in her head. She knew what was coming.

Freyr shot them both a brilliant smile. "I will see you both at dinner."

Sarina nodded and Freyr and Thor left immediately afterward. They didn't suspect a thing. When Sarina turned to Noelle, the younger girl immediately began to shake her head.

"No." Noelle said. "There is no way."

Sarina crossed her arms. "Noelle."

"Sarina, _no_. I've never disobeyed Father! I'm not starting now."

"You are _such _a goody-two-shoes." Sarina muttered. "And what do you think will happen if we _don't_ go? Father will send guards after Freyja and she'll tell them to F off and they'll come back empty handed. But if we _do_ go… she might listen to us."

"That's not definite."

"That's why I say 'maybe'. I never said that she was guaranteed to listen to us, but it gives us a lot more of a chance of getting through to her. We're her family."

Noelle sighed, fidgeting with her dress in a way that let Sarina know how close she was to caving. "But how would we get to Midgard? And even if we did, how would we find her?"

"That's easy. Sif."

Noelle shook her head. "Sif would never betray Father, or Thor."

Sarina snorted, "You're in for a shock, little sister. Sif's decisions belong to no one. If she decided that our journey was in everyone's best interest, no matter _what_ our father said, she would help us in a second."

"Are you certain?"

Sarina smiled reassuringly at Noelle. "Of course."

Inside, however, she was a little less than certain. What she said was true, if Sif could be persuaded into thinking that their leaving would benefit them all, then she would help. It was the persuading part that Sarina had little faith in. She was a terrible persuader.

When every other kid was getting a dog or a cat, Sarina had gotten a gerbil, and not for a lack of trying. She didn't know where she went wrong. Whether she was inept at making her case or whether she went wrong towards the end… persuading just wasn't her thing.

It would take a miracle for this to work.

Well… a miracle and then some. If they weren't caught trying to get out of Alfheim, Freyr would certainly send someone after them.

"So, what now?" Noelle asked.

"We go find Sif." Sarina said breezily, motioning for her sister to follow her.

Noelle glanced skyward. "I _know_ I'm going to regret this."

"You very well might."


End file.
